Yea! I made it to Louisiana. It took a bit of time, but I am pretty settled in the new house. It's been a long (has it been almost) two week since my last post, but I needed it to be able to get settled here. I had my first meeting at my new Weight Watcher here this morning. I must admit I was hesitant to get on the scale to see what I did. I knew I needed to do it since I didn't go last week, but it was difficult. In the two weeks since my last weigh in I had eaten a quarter pounder with cheese, sausage mcmuffin with egg, fried chicken tenders, pasta, po' boys, french fries, pizza, chips, burgers, and beneigets. However, when I really thought about what I had eaten (even at the buffet), I realized that my portions were smaller than before I started this journey. I didn't over eat, or feel over fed once. That's a great thing.
So off I drove to the meeting place (disappointed that I can't walk as there are no sidewalks on the busy roads by my house). I filled out my paperwork, signed in, took a deep breath, and stepped on the scale. WHAT?! I lost 2 pounds?! I couldn't believe it. I was so excited. That puts my weight loss total at 50.8 right now. I've hit my 50 pound goal and I am a whole month and a half ahead of my goal! I am so stoked! I can't even put into words how much it means that I got this completed!
I lost weight in the two weeks, and I didn't eat great, but I didn't eat like I use to before I started. Okay, on the drive I wasn't that great. I had Cheese Pringles, Reese's pieces, peanut butter M&M's. But I drank water or diet pop. And with no air, I was sweating and got a sun burn. I realized that even though I had a bad week or a few bad meals, walking around the French Quarter with my parents, loading and unloading a truck, finishing my packing and unpacking all was "exercise" that helped me to make those "bad" behaviors turn into a weight loss.
While I take some time to adjust to the food, and make sure that I keep up this great progress I am going to revel in the fact that I did so well. Until next time...
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Argh!
I've must have started re-writting this post in my head at least six times. I have already deleted and re-started typing once. For the first time since I started this weight loss journey I am at a loss of words. I am having a hard time putting my feelings out there, and I finally think I figured out my reasonings why.
I am not in a happy place right now. Life is just got me down, and I am struggling to keep the smile on my face, the tears out of my eyes, and remembering why this is so important to me. There are so many things that are going on in my little corner of the world that I just can't wrap my head around everything, and it shows. I usually have some brilliant stroke of words that comes to me that makes me write a positive post, or something that happens that makes me so happy that I have to share with anyone who will take a few minutes to read my blog. That just isn't happening.
I would have thought on Monday after I weighed in that some sort of brilliance would have come to me. I lost 1.2 pounds for a total of 48.8 pounds. I am so close to that fifty pound mark. And I managed to lose weight on a weekend where I had a going away get together, and went out to dinner. How did I manage that? That should be a positive post right there. But I've got nothing.
Is it the stress of moving? I am literally packing up the truck in two days, sleep and then start our way down to try our hand in Louisiana. Tonight and tomorrow I have to pack up all the clothes I don't need, finish packing my kitchen, pack up the bathroom essentials and then make sure all the little things are in boxes. This doesn't include my husbands shed either. I know we've been ahead of the packing game for a few weeks, but this last week is just a stress ball.
Is it the stress of my family life? This is all bunched up into different parts. Stress of the fear of the move, and how it is going to affect my relationships with the family members I am close to. And what about those that I am not so close to? Is this move going to strain my relationship with them even more to the point we become practically strangers? There is the stress of grief that my family is dealing with, let alone the guilt that comes along with grief. There is the stress of making sure my family realizes that while this move is HUGE and a challenge, it's something I need to do. This move has nothing to do with them, but in trying to make sure I can grow as a person. I need to take this chance and see if I can do this and succeed.
Then there is the stress of the friendships I have made (or made stronger) since I moved back to my hometown five years ago. There are people that I love that are still here. I know that this move is hard on all of us. I won't be able to drop everything and drive over if someone needs me. I am only a phone call away, but that just isn't the same. Besides, let's be honest. How many of us really use the phone and "talk" to people anymore. There is the stress of leaving, wondering how things are going to change. Not to mention the stress of those people that you thought cared for so long and now are so distant that I wonder if 948 miles is going to be the reason we become strangers. It's a hard thing, thinking that you are going to lose some people that you care for so much, and have given so much to and yet there is not a damn thing you can do about it.
No matter what I know that I need to deal with this stress and get back on a positive track. I am already sick and tired of being so down, and not having a positive thing to say. I've been like this for four days already. I need to snap out of it. I don't need to do it to lose the weight (not that it won't help) but I need to do it to stay true to the person I am.
Before I started this weight loss journey I learned something about myself that I didn't realize before. My PCOS left untreated cause me to be a hormonal nightmare. I would change moods in a matter of seconds, and I would cry at the drop of a hat. I started taking (believe it or not) birth control to control the hormones. I couldn't believe the change in myself. The snapping, raving lunatic that I once was, was now a shadow of who I became. I mean we all can become a snapping, raving lunatic don't get me wrong, but that was something that happened when I got really pissed off. I no longer cried at the drop of a pin for no reason, I no longer snapped at my husband for a small thing. I no longer was a bitch all the time (harsh but true). I became me, a positive happy person that realized how lucky she was to have a husband that stood by her during all that mess, and a family that didn't shun me.
These last four days of me not being positive have pushed me back to almost that person I was before. I HATE this person. This is not who I want to be. But, until I figure out the answers to my stress, or just let it go, I have to deal with who I am today. We all go through this at some point. We all become depressed or withdrawn. But on this journey, I can't afford to stay and wallow in this feeling. I need to get better. Maybe today will be the day. Maybe unloading to everyone who reads my blog (and thank you if you are still reading after the depressing topic) will be what I need. Maybe I just need a few good cries. Whatever it is, I vow that by the time I get done with moving into my new place, have the internet set up, and go to write a post next week I will be out of this mood. Heck, I can't afford to stay in it really either.
On a side note, due to very personal reasons I want to say: Tell everyone in your life that matters that you love them, and care for them. Don't let time be your enemy, and make sure to keep in touch with those that matter to you. I truly appreciate all the hits to my blog. Even if you don't write a comment, or like my Facebook post when I announce a new blog posting I do appreciate it. The fact that you take the time out of your day to read my thoughts is humbling. To all my family and friends reading, I love you, don't ever forget that. This move is nothing more than distance. I will be back to visit, you have a place to come whenever you want. Between FB, Skype, Facetime, and something called a phone there is no reason to lose touch.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
I am not in a happy place right now. Life is just got me down, and I am struggling to keep the smile on my face, the tears out of my eyes, and remembering why this is so important to me. There are so many things that are going on in my little corner of the world that I just can't wrap my head around everything, and it shows. I usually have some brilliant stroke of words that comes to me that makes me write a positive post, or something that happens that makes me so happy that I have to share with anyone who will take a few minutes to read my blog. That just isn't happening.
I would have thought on Monday after I weighed in that some sort of brilliance would have come to me. I lost 1.2 pounds for a total of 48.8 pounds. I am so close to that fifty pound mark. And I managed to lose weight on a weekend where I had a going away get together, and went out to dinner. How did I manage that? That should be a positive post right there. But I've got nothing.
Is it the stress of moving? I am literally packing up the truck in two days, sleep and then start our way down to try our hand in Louisiana. Tonight and tomorrow I have to pack up all the clothes I don't need, finish packing my kitchen, pack up the bathroom essentials and then make sure all the little things are in boxes. This doesn't include my husbands shed either. I know we've been ahead of the packing game for a few weeks, but this last week is just a stress ball.
Is it the stress of my family life? This is all bunched up into different parts. Stress of the fear of the move, and how it is going to affect my relationships with the family members I am close to. And what about those that I am not so close to? Is this move going to strain my relationship with them even more to the point we become practically strangers? There is the stress of grief that my family is dealing with, let alone the guilt that comes along with grief. There is the stress of making sure my family realizes that while this move is HUGE and a challenge, it's something I need to do. This move has nothing to do with them, but in trying to make sure I can grow as a person. I need to take this chance and see if I can do this and succeed.
Then there is the stress of the friendships I have made (or made stronger) since I moved back to my hometown five years ago. There are people that I love that are still here. I know that this move is hard on all of us. I won't be able to drop everything and drive over if someone needs me. I am only a phone call away, but that just isn't the same. Besides, let's be honest. How many of us really use the phone and "talk" to people anymore. There is the stress of leaving, wondering how things are going to change. Not to mention the stress of those people that you thought cared for so long and now are so distant that I wonder if 948 miles is going to be the reason we become strangers. It's a hard thing, thinking that you are going to lose some people that you care for so much, and have given so much to and yet there is not a damn thing you can do about it.
No matter what I know that I need to deal with this stress and get back on a positive track. I am already sick and tired of being so down, and not having a positive thing to say. I've been like this for four days already. I need to snap out of it. I don't need to do it to lose the weight (not that it won't help) but I need to do it to stay true to the person I am.
Before I started this weight loss journey I learned something about myself that I didn't realize before. My PCOS left untreated cause me to be a hormonal nightmare. I would change moods in a matter of seconds, and I would cry at the drop of a hat. I started taking (believe it or not) birth control to control the hormones. I couldn't believe the change in myself. The snapping, raving lunatic that I once was, was now a shadow of who I became. I mean we all can become a snapping, raving lunatic don't get me wrong, but that was something that happened when I got really pissed off. I no longer cried at the drop of a pin for no reason, I no longer snapped at my husband for a small thing. I no longer was a bitch all the time (harsh but true). I became me, a positive happy person that realized how lucky she was to have a husband that stood by her during all that mess, and a family that didn't shun me.
These last four days of me not being positive have pushed me back to almost that person I was before. I HATE this person. This is not who I want to be. But, until I figure out the answers to my stress, or just let it go, I have to deal with who I am today. We all go through this at some point. We all become depressed or withdrawn. But on this journey, I can't afford to stay and wallow in this feeling. I need to get better. Maybe today will be the day. Maybe unloading to everyone who reads my blog (and thank you if you are still reading after the depressing topic) will be what I need. Maybe I just need a few good cries. Whatever it is, I vow that by the time I get done with moving into my new place, have the internet set up, and go to write a post next week I will be out of this mood. Heck, I can't afford to stay in it really either.
On a side note, due to very personal reasons I want to say: Tell everyone in your life that matters that you love them, and care for them. Don't let time be your enemy, and make sure to keep in touch with those that matter to you. I truly appreciate all the hits to my blog. Even if you don't write a comment, or like my Facebook post when I announce a new blog posting I do appreciate it. The fact that you take the time out of your day to read my thoughts is humbling. To all my family and friends reading, I love you, don't ever forget that. This move is nothing more than distance. I will be back to visit, you have a place to come whenever you want. Between FB, Skype, Facetime, and something called a phone there is no reason to lose touch.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
It's okay
I've realized over the past few weeks while on Facebook is that I don't think of Weight Watchers as a diet, it a new way of life for me. I see posts that people put up about their "diets" and these "miracle" drugs that help you to lose tons of weight and inches. I think to myself, "What happens when you stop taking those drugs?" or "What happens when you stop the diet?" For me, I know that this is a lifestyle change. I am changing the way I look at food, think of food, and eat my food. With a change of life, once you do it for so long you are less likely to want to go back to the old way.
The best part about this "lifestyle" is that I can eat what ever I want. I know it sounds silly and stupid, but name me one diet that allows you to eat in a single day two slices of pizza, ice cream, and snacks? Yes, I have eaten that on a day with weight watchers. I eat my breakfast for 6-8 points in the morning. If I am hungry I pull out a yogurt, fruit, or a snack bar later. I eat my 7-12 point lunch, snack again if I get hungry in the afternoon, eat my dinner of 7-15 points, and then because I have so many points left over I may have a 4 point container of Skinny Cow ice cream.
I want for nothing. My mom threw my husband and I a going away party this weekend. I had half a cupcake, some cookies, fried chicken (as much skin as I could removed), taco salad, and jello. I went to Red Lobster to celebrate my Grandfather's birthday. I had the meal I wanted, and split a roll with my husband. And, I lost 3.4 pounds this week.
Now what I am going to tell everyone might shock or surprise you, but this is something I truly believe. See, everyone craves food. For me, I crave all types of food, warm soft pretzels, chocolate chip cookies, my favorite deep dish chicago style pizza, Chinese food from my favorite place, and pasta. What I have learned over the years in previous yo-yo dieting is that if I don't fulfill that craving, I will still crave it for weeks. Yes I said weeks. Try having a craving for a soft pretzel and going to the mall. Not a good combination I'll admit. So, what do you do? For me I try to eat what I am craving.
There are somethings that are easier to accommodate than others with these cravings, and I understand. But I would rather have three mini chocolate chip toll house cookies straight out of the oven with some fat free Cool Whip one day than keep that craving for weeks, and break down while at the mall and get one of those frosted chocolate chip cookies. Or go to a party and eat half a dozen without thinking. Here's what you have to think through. Is it worth having a little bit of this now, even if your weight loss for the week is only half a pound, or (gasp!) zero? Or, would you rather keep that craving for weeks and over indulge later and instead of little to no weight loss, have a gain?
That is what I had to decide the other day. My husband and I have been craving some Chinese food. I don't eat much of the food, but when I do I get a craving from this place in town that makes the best tempura battered chicken pieces for sweet and sour chicken. Terrible I know. I finally (after a few weeks) decided to give into this craving. Let me tell you, I ate those chicken pieces and felt like crap most of the rest of the night. I learned that my MSG "allergy" has gotten much worse. Just a little bit of soy sauce that contains the MSG and I was having an attack. The other lesson I have learned, sometimes giving into those cravings makes it so you may not crave that food again. Not such a bad thing?
Will this affect my numbers on the scale? Maybe. But I have lost 47.6 pounds, and I am averaging 3.4 pounds a week. That is way over the "recommended" amount. I am on point to lose fifty pounds in the next few weeks. I feel great, look better, and can do more. Was getting rid of a craving now so I didn't make it worse later worth waiting an extra week or two for that magic number of 50? Yes, in my opinion it was. Some of you may tell me hell no, how could you do it? And I understand that logic. I just know me, my body, my goals, and what I am trying to do. So yes, it was for me.
Love, Peace, and still Fat
S
The best part about this "lifestyle" is that I can eat what ever I want. I know it sounds silly and stupid, but name me one diet that allows you to eat in a single day two slices of pizza, ice cream, and snacks? Yes, I have eaten that on a day with weight watchers. I eat my breakfast for 6-8 points in the morning. If I am hungry I pull out a yogurt, fruit, or a snack bar later. I eat my 7-12 point lunch, snack again if I get hungry in the afternoon, eat my dinner of 7-15 points, and then because I have so many points left over I may have a 4 point container of Skinny Cow ice cream.
I want for nothing. My mom threw my husband and I a going away party this weekend. I had half a cupcake, some cookies, fried chicken (as much skin as I could removed), taco salad, and jello. I went to Red Lobster to celebrate my Grandfather's birthday. I had the meal I wanted, and split a roll with my husband. And, I lost 3.4 pounds this week.
Now what I am going to tell everyone might shock or surprise you, but this is something I truly believe. See, everyone craves food. For me, I crave all types of food, warm soft pretzels, chocolate chip cookies, my favorite deep dish chicago style pizza, Chinese food from my favorite place, and pasta. What I have learned over the years in previous yo-yo dieting is that if I don't fulfill that craving, I will still crave it for weeks. Yes I said weeks. Try having a craving for a soft pretzel and going to the mall. Not a good combination I'll admit. So, what do you do? For me I try to eat what I am craving.
There are somethings that are easier to accommodate than others with these cravings, and I understand. But I would rather have three mini chocolate chip toll house cookies straight out of the oven with some fat free Cool Whip one day than keep that craving for weeks, and break down while at the mall and get one of those frosted chocolate chip cookies. Or go to a party and eat half a dozen without thinking. Here's what you have to think through. Is it worth having a little bit of this now, even if your weight loss for the week is only half a pound, or (gasp!) zero? Or, would you rather keep that craving for weeks and over indulge later and instead of little to no weight loss, have a gain?
That is what I had to decide the other day. My husband and I have been craving some Chinese food. I don't eat much of the food, but when I do I get a craving from this place in town that makes the best tempura battered chicken pieces for sweet and sour chicken. Terrible I know. I finally (after a few weeks) decided to give into this craving. Let me tell you, I ate those chicken pieces and felt like crap most of the rest of the night. I learned that my MSG "allergy" has gotten much worse. Just a little bit of soy sauce that contains the MSG and I was having an attack. The other lesson I have learned, sometimes giving into those cravings makes it so you may not crave that food again. Not such a bad thing?
Will this affect my numbers on the scale? Maybe. But I have lost 47.6 pounds, and I am averaging 3.4 pounds a week. That is way over the "recommended" amount. I am on point to lose fifty pounds in the next few weeks. I feel great, look better, and can do more. Was getting rid of a craving now so I didn't make it worse later worth waiting an extra week or two for that magic number of 50? Yes, in my opinion it was. Some of you may tell me hell no, how could you do it? And I understand that logic. I just know me, my body, my goals, and what I am trying to do. So yes, it was for me.
Love, Peace, and still Fat
S
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Stronger
I've realized a few things over the past couple of months in my weight loss journey. I am a stronger person than I thought. I knew that I could accomplish anything I put my mind to, so it shouldn't be such a surprise to me that I am doing well. It's more about the self-control I've had, and the positive attitude I've kept up this long.
Self-control is something I can honestly admit that I struggle with more than anything else. The self-control to stop after one (or half of a) cookie, only have those two pieces of thin crust pizza, go to a party and not chow down on chips. As I've talked about before I've had lots of practice at parties since I started on this journey. The party or holiday dinner is usually something that I would have given myself a free pass for previously, or I would have not really thought too much about. Now, I am determined. I will lose this weight, I will get fit: I will be a better me. That has made my self-control so much better than I ever thought I could do.
I'll give a great example of this self-control in action, and it isn't at a party. My husband and I have been craving a real Chicago deep dish pizza before we move. If you aren't from Chicago you may not understand the deliciousness of these pizza's. If you are lactose intolerant and can't eat cheese, so sorry, you will never eat this pizza. It's a thick crust (the type of flour used depends on the place you go to have it) with crust coming up the sides of the deep dish pan and then rolled over the top of it self slightly covering the toppings. Now the cheese goes down first (yes non-Chicago people I understand this is not normal just wait) and it's not just a sprinkling of cheese. I have to say that in a large pizza there has got to be over a pound of mozzarella cheese inside that pizza. Then come the toppings, of veggies, sausage (depending wear crumbled or patty), pepperoni, or anything else you can think of. Then the sauce is ladled on top of all that goodness (the crust may be rolled over at this point), and then put in the oven to bake for 45 minute to one hour. Just enough time for your stomach to go from hungry to ravenous.
Now previously my husband and I would order at least a medium pizza, and each have at least 2 pieces. Oh, plus the mozzarella cheese sticks for an appetizer. So, Sunday we decided to go and have this pizza before we move. Yummy right. We get to the restaurant, and order a small sausage pizza, and each of us got a side salad, dressing on the side of course. We slowly ate the salad, and even by the time we were finished there was a good ten to fifteen minute wait for our pizza to come out. We each took our one piece, added a bit of parmesan cheese, red pepper flakes, said our prayers and started to eat. I think I have never taken so long to cut my pizza, then put it in my mouth, chew it and swallow before. (And yes, this pizza is so large you almost have to eat it with a fork and knife. I am sorry New Yorkers) We had the other two pieces of the small pizza put in a to go box and went home. Self control at it's best. No fatty, fried appetizer, no two pieces of pizza but best of all, no stomach telling me that it is so full that I want to unbutton my pants for the drive home.
Now the other part is the positive attitude. I've had a few weeks where I have lost a pound or less, I even had a week that I gained 1 pound. Overall, though I have had a weight loss of 44.2 pounds in fourteen weeks, I am ahead of my goals for the year (though they are not changing as of right now just because I know it may get harder later in the year. I will play it by ear). It also helps that I am doing things I never thought I would before and doing things I don't know if I could have done 44 pounds ago.
I walk to my Weight Watchers meeting every week. I've had to get a ride home twice for an ankle issue (if I would remember a band aid on the ankle it wouldn't be an issue). That is at least 1.2 miles or 3.4 if I do the round trip. I walked over 4 miles in a day (From my house to my sisters, then my meeting, then my mom's and then home) and I wasn't sore or exhausted from it. If needed I could enter into a 5k walk for this weekend and finish it in about an hour or so. I can hold more and lift more. I helped my dad just the other day take the cap off of his truck. It took 4 of us to lift the cap off (while my mom drove the truck forward. Scary considering I was afraid of getting my toes ran over), and then maneuver it over the fence, through the back yard, and place it on the horses. Yes I was able to carry my side and be good with the walking, and holding of it. I held it up until I could get someone to move the horse for me because I was afraid of dropping the lid one handed. Now I probably could have accomplished that prior to my weight loss. But, I wouldn't have been able to do it without cussing, and being out of breath by the end.
I also find that standing on my feet doesn't hurt as much as it use to. When I stand for long periods of time, or take really long walks I don't hurt. Usually by the end of the day at the zoo I am sitting all the time and can't wait to get in the car and just put my feet up. Not anymore. I can't wait until after the move so I can start training to run a 5k (which should be interesting since I am out of breath by the end of the block).
On a side note: To all those with the positive comments, likes when I post on Facebook, etc. Thank you. I never thought that me putting down how I honestly feel at any given time, would be such a help to so many people. You have inspired me to be a better me, and to keep myself on track as well. I can't really express in words (shocking, I know) how much all of that means to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Until next time:
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Self-control is something I can honestly admit that I struggle with more than anything else. The self-control to stop after one (or half of a) cookie, only have those two pieces of thin crust pizza, go to a party and not chow down on chips. As I've talked about before I've had lots of practice at parties since I started on this journey. The party or holiday dinner is usually something that I would have given myself a free pass for previously, or I would have not really thought too much about. Now, I am determined. I will lose this weight, I will get fit: I will be a better me. That has made my self-control so much better than I ever thought I could do.
I'll give a great example of this self-control in action, and it isn't at a party. My husband and I have been craving a real Chicago deep dish pizza before we move. If you aren't from Chicago you may not understand the deliciousness of these pizza's. If you are lactose intolerant and can't eat cheese, so sorry, you will never eat this pizza. It's a thick crust (the type of flour used depends on the place you go to have it) with crust coming up the sides of the deep dish pan and then rolled over the top of it self slightly covering the toppings. Now the cheese goes down first (yes non-Chicago people I understand this is not normal just wait) and it's not just a sprinkling of cheese. I have to say that in a large pizza there has got to be over a pound of mozzarella cheese inside that pizza. Then come the toppings, of veggies, sausage (depending wear crumbled or patty), pepperoni, or anything else you can think of. Then the sauce is ladled on top of all that goodness (the crust may be rolled over at this point), and then put in the oven to bake for 45 minute to one hour. Just enough time for your stomach to go from hungry to ravenous.
Now previously my husband and I would order at least a medium pizza, and each have at least 2 pieces. Oh, plus the mozzarella cheese sticks for an appetizer. So, Sunday we decided to go and have this pizza before we move. Yummy right. We get to the restaurant, and order a small sausage pizza, and each of us got a side salad, dressing on the side of course. We slowly ate the salad, and even by the time we were finished there was a good ten to fifteen minute wait for our pizza to come out. We each took our one piece, added a bit of parmesan cheese, red pepper flakes, said our prayers and started to eat. I think I have never taken so long to cut my pizza, then put it in my mouth, chew it and swallow before. (And yes, this pizza is so large you almost have to eat it with a fork and knife. I am sorry New Yorkers) We had the other two pieces of the small pizza put in a to go box and went home. Self control at it's best. No fatty, fried appetizer, no two pieces of pizza but best of all, no stomach telling me that it is so full that I want to unbutton my pants for the drive home.
Now the other part is the positive attitude. I've had a few weeks where I have lost a pound or less, I even had a week that I gained 1 pound. Overall, though I have had a weight loss of 44.2 pounds in fourteen weeks, I am ahead of my goals for the year (though they are not changing as of right now just because I know it may get harder later in the year. I will play it by ear). It also helps that I am doing things I never thought I would before and doing things I don't know if I could have done 44 pounds ago.
I walk to my Weight Watchers meeting every week. I've had to get a ride home twice for an ankle issue (if I would remember a band aid on the ankle it wouldn't be an issue). That is at least 1.2 miles or 3.4 if I do the round trip. I walked over 4 miles in a day (From my house to my sisters, then my meeting, then my mom's and then home) and I wasn't sore or exhausted from it. If needed I could enter into a 5k walk for this weekend and finish it in about an hour or so. I can hold more and lift more. I helped my dad just the other day take the cap off of his truck. It took 4 of us to lift the cap off (while my mom drove the truck forward. Scary considering I was afraid of getting my toes ran over), and then maneuver it over the fence, through the back yard, and place it on the horses. Yes I was able to carry my side and be good with the walking, and holding of it. I held it up until I could get someone to move the horse for me because I was afraid of dropping the lid one handed. Now I probably could have accomplished that prior to my weight loss. But, I wouldn't have been able to do it without cussing, and being out of breath by the end.
I also find that standing on my feet doesn't hurt as much as it use to. When I stand for long periods of time, or take really long walks I don't hurt. Usually by the end of the day at the zoo I am sitting all the time and can't wait to get in the car and just put my feet up. Not anymore. I can't wait until after the move so I can start training to run a 5k (which should be interesting since I am out of breath by the end of the block).
On a side note: To all those with the positive comments, likes when I post on Facebook, etc. Thank you. I never thought that me putting down how I honestly feel at any given time, would be such a help to so many people. You have inspired me to be a better me, and to keep myself on track as well. I can't really express in words (shocking, I know) how much all of that means to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Until next time:
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Monday, April 16, 2012
Little Things
I sit here this morning before my weigh in with a huge smile on my face. I don't care if I lost .2 or another 4 pounds (of which is doubtful two weeks of 4 pound weight loss is highly unlikely), I have had a good week. I learned this week that my success can not always be measured in the numbers on the scale, or the will power to stop at only one piece of deliciously good chicago style deep dish pizza. The success can be measured in all these small, tiny ways that make it work for me.
My first success this week I was blind sided with. For those that don't know, in 18 days we pack our moving truck, and 19 days we head off on our move to Louisiana. With that, Matt was cleaning out his work desk so he could start packing those items he doesn't really need the next few weeks. While cleaning he stumbled upon a jewelry box that contained a pearl ring he purchased for me in December 2008 (and yes I went to Amazon to see how long it had been). The ring never fit me, and I have never worn it. He tossed the box to me, and asked if it fit now. Well I am delighted to say it now fits on my left ring finger perfectly! Coincidentally, my wedding ring no longer fits on that finger because it is too big. I have gone from a size 11 1/4 on my finger to a 10.
The second and third both happened on Saturday afternoon/evening. I had decided after doing so much packing and cleaning around the house that Matt really needed to get out. (Yes Matt, not me. I get out to go to meetings and visit my family durning the day while he works what do I need out of the house for?) We had decided to go out to the casino to see it, since it's been years since we had been there. Now I know you don't have to get all dressed up for the casino, anything goes in attire for the most part, but I have a fear of looking all comfy and running into someone I know. I have to at least have my hair and make-up done, and if I am going that far I might as well do something nice with my clothing, right? So I finished getting dressed and I am putting on all of my accessories. I throw on a bracelet on each wrist, and I debate on my two favorite necklaces. Just for giggles, I took off the extender on the one necklace and tried it on. It fit! The necklace fit! I know I didn't have to use all 3 inches of the extender before, but without it, this necklace came up pretty high on the neck didn't feel comfortable, and looked awkward. I was elated, and ended up wearing both necklaces that night.
I didn't think much of anything else while we were out. I was amazed at how nice the casino looked, and I think I spent more time walking around the entire place than I did at a machine. However, on the way home I looked down at my wrist and noticed that my bracelet had turned during the night. I turned it back to the "home" position, as I call it. Then it hit me. This bracelet was one of those that barely fit me before. I could get it on, and it would close but it was tight and there was no moving the bracelet at all. Now, it is lose enough that it actually turns on my wrist!
Little victories to me is what these add up to. But on a week where a weight loss of a pound would be huge (not that I ate terribly, or anything like that, but when you have a weight loss of 4 pounds the week before a .2 loss is a good achievement, you work just to stay even that week most of the time) these little victories give me the incentive to keep it up, and remember how I can achieve these goals.
Well that, and it doesn't help that I received some pictures this weekend that reminded me of where I started, and how much better I look today. Until next time.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
My first success this week I was blind sided with. For those that don't know, in 18 days we pack our moving truck, and 19 days we head off on our move to Louisiana. With that, Matt was cleaning out his work desk so he could start packing those items he doesn't really need the next few weeks. While cleaning he stumbled upon a jewelry box that contained a pearl ring he purchased for me in December 2008 (and yes I went to Amazon to see how long it had been). The ring never fit me, and I have never worn it. He tossed the box to me, and asked if it fit now. Well I am delighted to say it now fits on my left ring finger perfectly! Coincidentally, my wedding ring no longer fits on that finger because it is too big. I have gone from a size 11 1/4 on my finger to a 10.
The second and third both happened on Saturday afternoon/evening. I had decided after doing so much packing and cleaning around the house that Matt really needed to get out. (Yes Matt, not me. I get out to go to meetings and visit my family durning the day while he works what do I need out of the house for?) We had decided to go out to the casino to see it, since it's been years since we had been there. Now I know you don't have to get all dressed up for the casino, anything goes in attire for the most part, but I have a fear of looking all comfy and running into someone I know. I have to at least have my hair and make-up done, and if I am going that far I might as well do something nice with my clothing, right? So I finished getting dressed and I am putting on all of my accessories. I throw on a bracelet on each wrist, and I debate on my two favorite necklaces. Just for giggles, I took off the extender on the one necklace and tried it on. It fit! The necklace fit! I know I didn't have to use all 3 inches of the extender before, but without it, this necklace came up pretty high on the neck didn't feel comfortable, and looked awkward. I was elated, and ended up wearing both necklaces that night.
I didn't think much of anything else while we were out. I was amazed at how nice the casino looked, and I think I spent more time walking around the entire place than I did at a machine. However, on the way home I looked down at my wrist and noticed that my bracelet had turned during the night. I turned it back to the "home" position, as I call it. Then it hit me. This bracelet was one of those that barely fit me before. I could get it on, and it would close but it was tight and there was no moving the bracelet at all. Now, it is lose enough that it actually turns on my wrist!
Little victories to me is what these add up to. But on a week where a weight loss of a pound would be huge (not that I ate terribly, or anything like that, but when you have a weight loss of 4 pounds the week before a .2 loss is a good achievement, you work just to stay even that week most of the time) these little victories give me the incentive to keep it up, and remember how I can achieve these goals.
Well that, and it doesn't help that I received some pictures this weekend that reminded me of where I started, and how much better I look today. Until next time.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Long thoughts
As I write this I have been thinking of what I wanted to write and how to write it for awhile. The funny thing is how much my thoughts change on a day to day basis I guess depending on how I am feeling about my progress so far.
Not that I have any complaining about progress. Last week I was baby-sitting my three year old nephew, and took him with my for my weigh in and meeting. It was a great motivator for me, as when he weighed in, that is exactly how much I had lost up until I stepped on the scale. I can now say anytime I pick my nephew up, that I have lost more than you weigh buddy! That fueled me in this tough week I had to face.
I am moving in 25 or so days now, and have so much I am trying to accomplish along with the whole stay fit, lose weight aspect of my life. I also had to worry about a wake, funeral, and Easter this week. Talk about food addict stress. I will admit on Tuesday my husband and I copped out and stopped at McDonald's for dinner, as it would be easier to get to the wake up "north" (as us south siders consider it) with a drive-thru dinner than trying to cook something, scarf it down quick, and then get up north in time.
First, my order at McDonald's has changed dramatically. I use to get either a quarter pounder with cheese or double quarter pounder with cheese (both plain), a medium or large fry, and a large coke, no ice. This time it was a McDouble (still plain), a small fry, and I had water in the car. Secondly, when you haven't had McDonald's burgers and fries in months (I think the last time I had it was in my first few weeks of my journey), and you are eating better, healthier food McDonald's just doesn't do anything for me. I honestly didn't want to finish the burger. It had little or no flavor, and didn't sit well in my stomach at all. Ick! What a lesson I ended up getting that night.
I also made it through the luncheon after the funeral as the food served was actually pretty darn healthy, the dinner at Grandma's after with the family (again, thanks to my family who as a whole is leaning towards the healthier food), and Easter dinner. Well, I helped myself there. I don't eat ham (I know I am odd, comment away lol), so I made my "unfried" chicken pieces for my Easter dinner, and put them with my salad. Yummy!
Even said, I didn't really get to exercise (and getting back into that after being released for my knee is taking forever. I haven't finished a session yet for fear of hurting my knee). I was figuring that if I lost a pound or so I would be happy considering the entire week. Imagine my shock when I got on the scale and was told I lost 4 pounds, and my new total is a loss of 43.4 pounds! I am way ahead of schedule of my first goal of 50 pounds by my birthday in June. Now I am trying to see if I can get in done in the next 3 weeks before I move.
Now, my journey hasn't been easy, I've had my set backs, but the rewards are great. Remember the doctor that told me I had to lose weight to get pregnant? I went and saw him last week for my yearly check up. He was very happy to see my weight loss, and everyone in the office commented on how great I was doing. Not only that, but my doctor mentioned to me that I am inspiring to him, as in less than 3 months I had lost more weight than he was looking to lose total.
I am telling you that setting goals, and telling people helps immensely in trying to get fit and lose the weight. However, that is not enough. If you truly are not personally motivated and inspired to lose the weight you won't. You have to want to achieve it and do it, or you never will. Did you ever have someone tell you that you can do anything you put your mind to? I did, and I will tell you, until you are whole heartedly behind yourself mentally, there is nothing you can do to succeed. Mentally be ready, and you can do anything!
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Not that I have any complaining about progress. Last week I was baby-sitting my three year old nephew, and took him with my for my weigh in and meeting. It was a great motivator for me, as when he weighed in, that is exactly how much I had lost up until I stepped on the scale. I can now say anytime I pick my nephew up, that I have lost more than you weigh buddy! That fueled me in this tough week I had to face.
I am moving in 25 or so days now, and have so much I am trying to accomplish along with the whole stay fit, lose weight aspect of my life. I also had to worry about a wake, funeral, and Easter this week. Talk about food addict stress. I will admit on Tuesday my husband and I copped out and stopped at McDonald's for dinner, as it would be easier to get to the wake up "north" (as us south siders consider it) with a drive-thru dinner than trying to cook something, scarf it down quick, and then get up north in time.
First, my order at McDonald's has changed dramatically. I use to get either a quarter pounder with cheese or double quarter pounder with cheese (both plain), a medium or large fry, and a large coke, no ice. This time it was a McDouble (still plain), a small fry, and I had water in the car. Secondly, when you haven't had McDonald's burgers and fries in months (I think the last time I had it was in my first few weeks of my journey), and you are eating better, healthier food McDonald's just doesn't do anything for me. I honestly didn't want to finish the burger. It had little or no flavor, and didn't sit well in my stomach at all. Ick! What a lesson I ended up getting that night.
I also made it through the luncheon after the funeral as the food served was actually pretty darn healthy, the dinner at Grandma's after with the family (again, thanks to my family who as a whole is leaning towards the healthier food), and Easter dinner. Well, I helped myself there. I don't eat ham (I know I am odd, comment away lol), so I made my "unfried" chicken pieces for my Easter dinner, and put them with my salad. Yummy!
Even said, I didn't really get to exercise (and getting back into that after being released for my knee is taking forever. I haven't finished a session yet for fear of hurting my knee). I was figuring that if I lost a pound or so I would be happy considering the entire week. Imagine my shock when I got on the scale and was told I lost 4 pounds, and my new total is a loss of 43.4 pounds! I am way ahead of schedule of my first goal of 50 pounds by my birthday in June. Now I am trying to see if I can get in done in the next 3 weeks before I move.
Now, my journey hasn't been easy, I've had my set backs, but the rewards are great. Remember the doctor that told me I had to lose weight to get pregnant? I went and saw him last week for my yearly check up. He was very happy to see my weight loss, and everyone in the office commented on how great I was doing. Not only that, but my doctor mentioned to me that I am inspiring to him, as in less than 3 months I had lost more weight than he was looking to lose total.
I am telling you that setting goals, and telling people helps immensely in trying to get fit and lose the weight. However, that is not enough. If you truly are not personally motivated and inspired to lose the weight you won't. You have to want to achieve it and do it, or you never will. Did you ever have someone tell you that you can do anything you put your mind to? I did, and I will tell you, until you are whole heartedly behind yourself mentally, there is nothing you can do to succeed. Mentally be ready, and you can do anything!
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Who am I?
This week I went to a benefit for a former co-worker. I did my hair in my normal dressed up do, of curls all around, and pull back the one side with bobby pins (okay I dressed it up with a flower pin in the hair). My make-up was subdued, and I wore jeans, a nice top and a pair of heel boots. Nothing over the top. I don't know if it was my weight loss, the color in my hair, or the new piercings, but I got a lot of triple takes, and people who didn't recognize me right away at all. It was a good feeling. But as usual, it got me thinking: who am I?
Before I started this journey, I was Staci: loud, fat, girl who is outrageous but still in her shell a little. Now I am looking at who I am after a weight loss of just over 38 pounds, and I don't know if I can say the same things. Oh, I am still loud, and still fat. But am I outrageous but still in my shell? I don't really think so. The amazing thing about the weight loss besides the transformation on the outside that everyone can see, it's the transformation of the inside of myself as well.
Before I started I would have told you at 326 pounds I was happy with myself (and I may have said that in a post at one point). I had decided long ago that I would be the fat girl, and I was happy. I still walked all over the zoo, I could spend a day walking around downtown Chicago, and I didn't let my weight stop me from going on vacations, swimming, or trying to enjoy myself. I liked who I saw in the mirror, and telling me I was fat couldn't hurt me. I mean how can it hurt to tell me I am fat, when I'll tell anyone that I am the "fat chick?" I didn't realize how much I was lying to myself until this week. I was happy with myself because I didn't have the motivation to change who I was. I created an image of a happy girl to show the world, because they couldn't hurt me. I used that image for so long that I lied to myself and started to believe it.
Starting to think this through and realize that I lied to myself wasn't an easy task, but admitting to others is so much harder. Especially when, like me, you are emotional. Tears may well or fall, but the truth needs to get out. If I didn't realize this truth about myself, then I could never realize how much I have changed. See, now the real Staci is emerging.
I am still loud. I honestly don't think that one will ever leave me. Heck, ask those that remember me in high school, I was loud then. I am still a little outrageous. My thought patter is still "skewed" and I have no problem with that. I am still a little in my shell, but I realized something. There is a different, happier person coming out, and I like her! My personality now (I think) is more of girl next store meets, rock girl. I have the pink peek-a-boos in my hair (and I mean pink), my nose and "lip" are pierced. But my hair is usually a little more main stream in style, and my ears don't have the huge "gauged" look to them. (Side note, my ears are gauged, but only to a 12. This helps me to wear regular earrings on occasion without having the huge allergic reaction to them).
Will this Staci be the same person at the end of my journey? I honestly don't know. I think there is a lot more exploring of myself and feelings before this journey is over. I may have many incarnations of myself through it all. But, at the end I guarantee I will not be lying to myself any more.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
P.S. This is happier Staci:
Before I started this journey, I was Staci: loud, fat, girl who is outrageous but still in her shell a little. Now I am looking at who I am after a weight loss of just over 38 pounds, and I don't know if I can say the same things. Oh, I am still loud, and still fat. But am I outrageous but still in my shell? I don't really think so. The amazing thing about the weight loss besides the transformation on the outside that everyone can see, it's the transformation of the inside of myself as well.
Before I started I would have told you at 326 pounds I was happy with myself (and I may have said that in a post at one point). I had decided long ago that I would be the fat girl, and I was happy. I still walked all over the zoo, I could spend a day walking around downtown Chicago, and I didn't let my weight stop me from going on vacations, swimming, or trying to enjoy myself. I liked who I saw in the mirror, and telling me I was fat couldn't hurt me. I mean how can it hurt to tell me I am fat, when I'll tell anyone that I am the "fat chick?" I didn't realize how much I was lying to myself until this week. I was happy with myself because I didn't have the motivation to change who I was. I created an image of a happy girl to show the world, because they couldn't hurt me. I used that image for so long that I lied to myself and started to believe it.
Starting to think this through and realize that I lied to myself wasn't an easy task, but admitting to others is so much harder. Especially when, like me, you are emotional. Tears may well or fall, but the truth needs to get out. If I didn't realize this truth about myself, then I could never realize how much I have changed. See, now the real Staci is emerging.
I am still loud. I honestly don't think that one will ever leave me. Heck, ask those that remember me in high school, I was loud then. I am still a little outrageous. My thought patter is still "skewed" and I have no problem with that. I am still a little in my shell, but I realized something. There is a different, happier person coming out, and I like her! My personality now (I think) is more of girl next store meets, rock girl. I have the pink peek-a-boos in my hair (and I mean pink), my nose and "lip" are pierced. But my hair is usually a little more main stream in style, and my ears don't have the huge "gauged" look to them. (Side note, my ears are gauged, but only to a 12. This helps me to wear regular earrings on occasion without having the huge allergic reaction to them).
Will this Staci be the same person at the end of my journey? I honestly don't know. I think there is a lot more exploring of myself and feelings before this journey is over. I may have many incarnations of myself through it all. But, at the end I guarantee I will not be lying to myself any more.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Monday, March 26, 2012
Another good week, another question I ponder
Yes, it was another great week for me. Last week I lost over 2 pounds and hit my 10% weight loss goal. For those that don't know what that means, I lost 10% of my starting weight, or 32.6 pounds. That made me feel great! I haven't been able to exercise as much as I would like, but I pay attention to those points I eat daily, and make sure I am eating enough. I was thinking, and I didn't do anything different this week. I watched what I ate, made healthy choices in my food, and tried to move around the house a bit since I can't work out.
This week I knew I was doing good. I had lost the 10%, and I was sticking with the plan. I made an observation on Friday. Matt was off so we went to Home Depot to get some packing supplies. While we were in there it started pouring down rain. It was raining when we went to leave, so I made Matt a bargain. He wouldn't have to pick me up, but if he could unlock the door to the truck before putting the items we bought in the back away I would run out to the truck and get wet as well. He did, and I ran. Wow, I didn't lose my breath, and I felt great. We then went to Best Buy to make an inquiry about an stereo installation. Matt dropped me off at the door again, and it was raining when we went to leave. I told him I'd meet him at the truck. I waited at the door, and then took off on the sidewalk, through the "street" and down the 8 or so spaces down to where Matt was parked. I guess my jeans are a little bigger than I thought because by the time I got to the truck, my jeans were under my butt and falling off. Oops! Even though I felt great for the run, there was that I hope no one saw my underwear moment.
So I go to weigh in today and I look at my tracker. Before weigh in I have 6 weigh ins left. I started to think. I really would love to wait to move until after my last weigh in on this tracker. It would give me a great 16 week start, and besides what if that new WW weigh in place I go to when I move has a scale that weighs me differently. If their scale says that I weigh more than the one up here, how would that make me feel on my last weigh in?
So now I ask, is it selfish of me to want to wait that extra week to move so I can have one last good weigh in here? Well, I guess it depends on how close to my goal I am right? I would love to hear your opinions.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
This week I knew I was doing good. I had lost the 10%, and I was sticking with the plan. I made an observation on Friday. Matt was off so we went to Home Depot to get some packing supplies. While we were in there it started pouring down rain. It was raining when we went to leave, so I made Matt a bargain. He wouldn't have to pick me up, but if he could unlock the door to the truck before putting the items we bought in the back away I would run out to the truck and get wet as well. He did, and I ran. Wow, I didn't lose my breath, and I felt great. We then went to Best Buy to make an inquiry about an stereo installation. Matt dropped me off at the door again, and it was raining when we went to leave. I told him I'd meet him at the truck. I waited at the door, and then took off on the sidewalk, through the "street" and down the 8 or so spaces down to where Matt was parked. I guess my jeans are a little bigger than I thought because by the time I got to the truck, my jeans were under my butt and falling off. Oops! Even though I felt great for the run, there was that I hope no one saw my underwear moment.
So I go to weigh in today and I look at my tracker. Before weigh in I have 6 weigh ins left. I started to think. I really would love to wait to move until after my last weigh in on this tracker. It would give me a great 16 week start, and besides what if that new WW weigh in place I go to when I move has a scale that weighs me differently. If their scale says that I weigh more than the one up here, how would that make me feel on my last weigh in?
So now I ask, is it selfish of me to want to wait that extra week to move so I can have one last good weigh in here? Well, I guess it depends on how close to my goal I am right? I would love to hear your opinions.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Sunday, March 18, 2012
I feel good...but my wallet might not lol
So, after the disaster of feelings I had with my last blog, I really needed a pick me up this weekend. I knew I would be busy, but there needed to be something that would just push me over the edge and put a really big smile on my face, and remind me of why I am doing this get fit, lose weight thing.
Friday night after dinner (breakfast for dinner too, yummy) and shopping for a costume for next weekend we decided to go hit up my parents house and hang with my dad. My mom was having girls night, so we sat outside around the fire. I relaxed had some good conversations, and enjoyed the evening. But that wasn't it.
Saturday Matt and I washed and detailed both cars (and yes mine still looks almost new when it's all cleaned up). We then ran to the store to try and get a discount on our cell phone bill (successful), got dinner, and went and picked up a new scale. Yeah, ours pretty much died we believed. After stepping on the new scale, it was worth the purchase. After that we went to my parents for another fire and to hang out with my nephew. It was good, but not the smile I was looking for.
Just as we were getting ready to go to bed my husband commented on how he had no clue what he was going to wear to church Sunday. I didn't have any clue what I was wearing so I went to the closet and started to look. My eyes fell on this blue, sleeveless, cowl-necked dress that I bought just about a year ago, and decided that even though it was a dress I was very uncomfortable in it, and would need to wear something underneath of it to walk out of the house. I looked at my stomach and figured that it still looks smaller, I might as well try it on. The dress fit better than before. While I would be more comfortable walking out of the house with it on, I decided I needed a few more pounds gone so I don't feel like my stomach is the main attraction of the dress.
Now that got a smile on my face, and got me thinking about the few other dresses I had in my closet. I pulled out the dress I wore to a wedding in October, just about 5 1/2 months ago. It still looks great, but there is a little more room in places there wasn't room before, and I could almost zip it up alone. The other dress I've had for a few years, and seem to wear it two or three times a year. It always fit, and was nice looking. Now, it really shows that I have some curves with my fat.
Yes, that is what I needed to make me smile. I feel good. And, I know that when I have to get all dressy in July for Rally I will either be buying new smaller clothes, or I will be having someone take in that dress from the wedding as it is adorable.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Friday night after dinner (breakfast for dinner too, yummy) and shopping for a costume for next weekend we decided to go hit up my parents house and hang with my dad. My mom was having girls night, so we sat outside around the fire. I relaxed had some good conversations, and enjoyed the evening. But that wasn't it.
Saturday Matt and I washed and detailed both cars (and yes mine still looks almost new when it's all cleaned up). We then ran to the store to try and get a discount on our cell phone bill (successful), got dinner, and went and picked up a new scale. Yeah, ours pretty much died we believed. After stepping on the new scale, it was worth the purchase. After that we went to my parents for another fire and to hang out with my nephew. It was good, but not the smile I was looking for.
Just as we were getting ready to go to bed my husband commented on how he had no clue what he was going to wear to church Sunday. I didn't have any clue what I was wearing so I went to the closet and started to look. My eyes fell on this blue, sleeveless, cowl-necked dress that I bought just about a year ago, and decided that even though it was a dress I was very uncomfortable in it, and would need to wear something underneath of it to walk out of the house. I looked at my stomach and figured that it still looks smaller, I might as well try it on. The dress fit better than before. While I would be more comfortable walking out of the house with it on, I decided I needed a few more pounds gone so I don't feel like my stomach is the main attraction of the dress.
Now that got a smile on my face, and got me thinking about the few other dresses I had in my closet. I pulled out the dress I wore to a wedding in October, just about 5 1/2 months ago. It still looks great, but there is a little more room in places there wasn't room before, and I could almost zip it up alone. The other dress I've had for a few years, and seem to wear it two or three times a year. It always fit, and was nice looking. Now, it really shows that I have some curves with my fat.
Yes, that is what I needed to make me smile. I feel good. And, I know that when I have to get all dressy in July for Rally I will either be buying new smaller clothes, or I will be having someone take in that dress from the wedding as it is adorable.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Positive! Positive! Not so Positive.
Yes, I know my last post was about staying positive and keeping up the momentum for yourself, and I am not backing down. However I made an observation last night that was just a bit of a let down for me, within the big positive I am showing.
It all started with my nightly routine of washing my face, my piercing, brushing my teeth and using the mouthwash. I usually do this with not much clothing (sorry for the not so nice mental picture there) so I don't get water all over my top while cleaning my piercing. I stood up and actually looked in the mirror. Or maybe I should say I actually looked and "saw" myself properly. I was happy. My face looks thinner (no matter how round it still is), and I can see a change in my figure. My stomach is smaller, I look smaller around and my curves are a bit more prominent.
That all sounds good, but then I looked at my boobs. While the difference in the size between the two is less (thankfully) I suddenly realized they may be a bit perkier, but they are definitely smaller. Obviously I am losing weight in my boobs along with the rest of my body. However, as some that considers herself, "flat chested for a fat girl." the thought of me losing my pretty little C cups are discouraging. I know, it shouldn't matter, but for some reason it kinda bothered me.
But if that was bothersome, imagine my thought when I pointed out to my husband that the difference in sizes are not as vast as it use to be, his first words were, "Yeah they are smaller, and so is your butt." Excuse me, but I am now losing the junk in my trunk as well? Okay knee, you better heal and heal quick because I need to start walking up a bunch of stairs, doing lunges, and anything else that is going to put my butt muscles to work and make it stay a decent size.
So yes, I am down 30 pounds and happy. I am about to hit my 10% weight loss mark (losing 10% of my starting weight). But, the knowledge of losing things that I have identified as part of who I am, not such a happy moment for me.
Which reminds me, if anyone has any ideas of exercises to increase my butt size and/or how not to lose my boobs, please let me know.
Love, Peace and Still Fat
S
It all started with my nightly routine of washing my face, my piercing, brushing my teeth and using the mouthwash. I usually do this with not much clothing (sorry for the not so nice mental picture there) so I don't get water all over my top while cleaning my piercing. I stood up and actually looked in the mirror. Or maybe I should say I actually looked and "saw" myself properly. I was happy. My face looks thinner (no matter how round it still is), and I can see a change in my figure. My stomach is smaller, I look smaller around and my curves are a bit more prominent.
That all sounds good, but then I looked at my boobs. While the difference in the size between the two is less (thankfully) I suddenly realized they may be a bit perkier, but they are definitely smaller. Obviously I am losing weight in my boobs along with the rest of my body. However, as some that considers herself, "flat chested for a fat girl." the thought of me losing my pretty little C cups are discouraging. I know, it shouldn't matter, but for some reason it kinda bothered me.
But if that was bothersome, imagine my thought when I pointed out to my husband that the difference in sizes are not as vast as it use to be, his first words were, "Yeah they are smaller, and so is your butt." Excuse me, but I am now losing the junk in my trunk as well? Okay knee, you better heal and heal quick because I need to start walking up a bunch of stairs, doing lunges, and anything else that is going to put my butt muscles to work and make it stay a decent size.
So yes, I am down 30 pounds and happy. I am about to hit my 10% weight loss mark (losing 10% of my starting weight). But, the knowledge of losing things that I have identified as part of who I am, not such a happy moment for me.
Which reminds me, if anyone has any ideas of exercises to increase my butt size and/or how not to lose my boobs, please let me know.
Love, Peace and Still Fat
S
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
I'm back
Okay, I know I've been MIA for a while. There is no good excuse for it either, except I really didn't know what to write. Or better yet, I couldn't get my thoughts from my head and on the computer in a way that made sense for a blog post. So, I have been sitting around writing and re-writing in my head what I want to say and how to express it. More or less, this is it, and I hope that it comes out on here the way it sounds in my head.
It just so happened that Monday's meeting was on negative thoughts, and negative influences, and that is what I have been struggling to talk about. See a few weeks ago one of my friends post a picture on line of a billboard ad being shown (I believe) in the state of Georgia attacking obesity in children. There was (and still is I am guessing) a huge uproar about the ads, and what it actually does to children. If you want to see the ads, google it. But my friend was outraged by the ads, and had opinions of it, along with many other friends.
I of course had my opinion as well. Let me state -for those that didn't know me then- that I have always been on the bigger side of life. In sixth grade I think I was between 155 - 175 pounds (I am actually struggling to remember the weight but I remember people being shocked because I was "thicker" than them, but they didn't think I was that "fat"). I was in a size 16 by my senior year of high school. As I got older the easier it was for me to put on the weight.
The problem I saw was that so many people were blaming the parents, and just the parents. Now, I am not saying parents are not part of the problem. Children with one or more parents (and I think step-parents count) that are obese have a higher chance to be obese. Why? Because where are they learning their habits of eating the wrong food, the large food portions, or lack of work out from. However, parents are not the only problem. I look at my parents, and while I was a big kid, I played out side, I rode my bike all the time, I was on a softball team in the summer, while my parents were trying to force vegetables down my throat. And I wasn't your typical kid, I don't eat veggies. I was the kid that if you forced a veggie down my throat, I'll throw that veggie up all over your dining room table. (And yes, I was forced to clean it up, but I hated them dang veggies).
But, the kids teasing me that I was a big kid (when I wasn't too big, and by today's standards I wasn't fat at all. I am going to search for a picture to prove it as well) and the snide comments about how clothes did or didn't fit me wasn't a help either. If you put a picture of a fat kid up and tell them how fat they are that is not going to help them. All that does is start the cycle of emotional eating. It's a bad loop that we have to stop now with the youth.
But here's the thing. No matter how big or small you are there is always going to be negatives in your life. I know that even though I lost 30 pounds there will be people that look at me because I am the fat girl. I will have people make fun of me because of my size and weight (just make sure it's behind my back, I am a bit feisty if need be). I will have people not realizing what I am doing to lose weight that will ask me, "Should you really be eating that?"
The difference now is that I have decided to try and let those negatives roll off of me. The people making fun of me or looking at me weirdly do not know me, or the shoes I walk in. They do not know how hard I have worked to lose this weight, or the trials I have gone through to finally make me successful in this attempt. Those that question my food choices may not understand the WW program, and how I can indulge in my favorite foods once in awhile (I had an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen over the weekend and still lost 3.4 pounds). The difference is me, and my mindset.
It use to be that if someone questioned my food choice that my response (mentally) was, "No I probably shouldn't be having this small bite or portion, but now I am going to gorge on it since you don't think I have the will power to stop." Well that was the mild version.
You are your own worst enemy, not only in weight loss, but in everything you do. Think of all the things you talk yourself out of all the time. The times you talk yourself out of a workout, or that you can not accomplish something. Now imagine if you just went with, "I can talk a 15 minute walk." Would that walk turn into a 30 minute walk? Maybe. Would it hurt to do the 15 minutes? Of course not. If we can talk ourselves out of exercise or into too much indulging, we can talk ourselves into the exercise and out of indulging. That is my difference.
I have not always been a positive person, and I had resigned myself into being the fat girl the rest of my life. But not no more. I will be an active person, and I will lose this weight. I will have my kid, and then take off that weight. And then, I am going to party it up in Vegas with a cute short skirt, and a body hugging top. Why? Because I think I can I will do it. And that is the difference. I never thought I would be the girl at a club in Vegas because they don't make enough cute club apparel for fat girls that I like. Now, I know they do for the skinny girls and I will be one. What are you going to do in 3 years? Are you going to be there with me or not?
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
It just so happened that Monday's meeting was on negative thoughts, and negative influences, and that is what I have been struggling to talk about. See a few weeks ago one of my friends post a picture on line of a billboard ad being shown (I believe) in the state of Georgia attacking obesity in children. There was (and still is I am guessing) a huge uproar about the ads, and what it actually does to children. If you want to see the ads, google it. But my friend was outraged by the ads, and had opinions of it, along with many other friends.
I of course had my opinion as well. Let me state -for those that didn't know me then- that I have always been on the bigger side of life. In sixth grade I think I was between 155 - 175 pounds (I am actually struggling to remember the weight but I remember people being shocked because I was "thicker" than them, but they didn't think I was that "fat"). I was in a size 16 by my senior year of high school. As I got older the easier it was for me to put on the weight.
The problem I saw was that so many people were blaming the parents, and just the parents. Now, I am not saying parents are not part of the problem. Children with one or more parents (and I think step-parents count) that are obese have a higher chance to be obese. Why? Because where are they learning their habits of eating the wrong food, the large food portions, or lack of work out from. However, parents are not the only problem. I look at my parents, and while I was a big kid, I played out side, I rode my bike all the time, I was on a softball team in the summer, while my parents were trying to force vegetables down my throat. And I wasn't your typical kid, I don't eat veggies. I was the kid that if you forced a veggie down my throat, I'll throw that veggie up all over your dining room table. (And yes, I was forced to clean it up, but I hated them dang veggies).
But, the kids teasing me that I was a big kid (when I wasn't too big, and by today's standards I wasn't fat at all. I am going to search for a picture to prove it as well) and the snide comments about how clothes did or didn't fit me wasn't a help either. If you put a picture of a fat kid up and tell them how fat they are that is not going to help them. All that does is start the cycle of emotional eating. It's a bad loop that we have to stop now with the youth.
But here's the thing. No matter how big or small you are there is always going to be negatives in your life. I know that even though I lost 30 pounds there will be people that look at me because I am the fat girl. I will have people make fun of me because of my size and weight (just make sure it's behind my back, I am a bit feisty if need be). I will have people not realizing what I am doing to lose weight that will ask me, "Should you really be eating that?"
The difference now is that I have decided to try and let those negatives roll off of me. The people making fun of me or looking at me weirdly do not know me, or the shoes I walk in. They do not know how hard I have worked to lose this weight, or the trials I have gone through to finally make me successful in this attempt. Those that question my food choices may not understand the WW program, and how I can indulge in my favorite foods once in awhile (I had an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen over the weekend and still lost 3.4 pounds). The difference is me, and my mindset.
It use to be that if someone questioned my food choice that my response (mentally) was, "No I probably shouldn't be having this small bite or portion, but now I am going to gorge on it since you don't think I have the will power to stop." Well that was the mild version.
You are your own worst enemy, not only in weight loss, but in everything you do. Think of all the things you talk yourself out of all the time. The times you talk yourself out of a workout, or that you can not accomplish something. Now imagine if you just went with, "I can talk a 15 minute walk." Would that walk turn into a 30 minute walk? Maybe. Would it hurt to do the 15 minutes? Of course not. If we can talk ourselves out of exercise or into too much indulging, we can talk ourselves into the exercise and out of indulging. That is my difference.
I have not always been a positive person, and I had resigned myself into being the fat girl the rest of my life. But not no more. I will be an active person, and I will lose this weight. I will have my kid, and then take off that weight. And then, I am going to party it up in Vegas with a cute short skirt, and a body hugging top. Why? Because I think I can I will do it. And that is the difference. I never thought I would be the girl at a club in Vegas because they don't make enough cute club apparel for fat girls that I like. Now, I know they do for the skinny girls and I will be one. What are you going to do in 3 years? Are you going to be there with me or not?
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Monday, February 27, 2012
The first goal!
I did it! I made it! I hit my first goal. Setting goals, and having short and long term goals are great for success in the weight loss game. This also works for the workouts. So, since I share so much let me share some of my goals I have (or had) set for myself so far this year.
I want to workout at least 3 times a week. Since I started with the exception of the week I hurt my back I have worked out at least 3 days a week. Now I want to make it 4 days a week with at least one day doing strength training. I want to work up to the point that I can run a 10 minute mile, but that first requires me to at least to be able to do a walk/jog of a mile first. While working on that I want to run a 5k, then a 10k (if I can find one), and then I want to work my way up to a half marathon. For me being able to complete a 13 plus mile walk/run would be great!
As for my weight loss goals. I wanted to get under 300 pounds (which was a minimum of 26.2 pounds lost - so I just skipped the 25 pound mark all together). Now that I have hit that my next goal is to hit my 10% weight loss. I have also decided that I want to lose 50 pounds by my birthday in June, and another 50 pounds by the end of December. That would be 100 pounds this year and put me on track to start working on being able to get pregnant.
I asked my husband what his goals were and if I could share them. His goals (with no time line really) is to first lose the weight he put back on from the time he quit Weight Watchers. That is 41 pounds (this was put on in a time frame of just under 2 years). His next goal is to get down to 250 pounds. Then after that it is 25 pound increments after that until he gets down to 200 pounds. His ultimate goal however is to get down to a weight that his doctor will take him off of his medicine.
I also know that if I work out the way I want to and hit my goals with the walking and running he will be supporting me the entire time, so in reality my 5k, 10k, and 1/2 marathon goals are his too.
I also know that reaching my goals this year will not be easy. I have set some realistic, but ambitious goals for the year. However, with the support I have and mind set that I can do it, I will reach the goals. It doesn't matter that I am moving, and have a 15 hour drive. Or that I am moving to a place where some of the best known food is stuff cooked in oil and butter, or covered in powdered sugar to boot. I will make my goals, I will work my butt off to do it. I don't care what it takes, it isn't enough to push me out of the mindset.
I want to workout at least 3 times a week. Since I started with the exception of the week I hurt my back I have worked out at least 3 days a week. Now I want to make it 4 days a week with at least one day doing strength training. I want to work up to the point that I can run a 10 minute mile, but that first requires me to at least to be able to do a walk/jog of a mile first. While working on that I want to run a 5k, then a 10k (if I can find one), and then I want to work my way up to a half marathon. For me being able to complete a 13 plus mile walk/run would be great!
As for my weight loss goals. I wanted to get under 300 pounds (which was a minimum of 26.2 pounds lost - so I just skipped the 25 pound mark all together). Now that I have hit that my next goal is to hit my 10% weight loss. I have also decided that I want to lose 50 pounds by my birthday in June, and another 50 pounds by the end of December. That would be 100 pounds this year and put me on track to start working on being able to get pregnant.
I asked my husband what his goals were and if I could share them. His goals (with no time line really) is to first lose the weight he put back on from the time he quit Weight Watchers. That is 41 pounds (this was put on in a time frame of just under 2 years). His next goal is to get down to 250 pounds. Then after that it is 25 pound increments after that until he gets down to 200 pounds. His ultimate goal however is to get down to a weight that his doctor will take him off of his medicine.
I also know that if I work out the way I want to and hit my goals with the walking and running he will be supporting me the entire time, so in reality my 5k, 10k, and 1/2 marathon goals are his too.
I also know that reaching my goals this year will not be easy. I have set some realistic, but ambitious goals for the year. However, with the support I have and mind set that I can do it, I will reach the goals. It doesn't matter that I am moving, and have a 15 hour drive. Or that I am moving to a place where some of the best known food is stuff cooked in oil and butter, or covered in powdered sugar to boot. I will make my goals, I will work my butt off to do it. I don't care what it takes, it isn't enough to push me out of the mindset.
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Bumps in the Road
Ironically, yesterday's WW meeting happened to be on stress and what we could do (besides) eat when we stress. I think I figured out that walking really helps. But that brought me to think about another stress starter for people that are trying to lose weight and get in shape. The dreaded plateau or gain.
Yes we all know at some time during our weight loss journey we will hit a plateau. The reasoning behind plateaus are not really known, it just is something that frustrates the hell out of people. Or we have the week of gain, or even the week where we worked our butts off, but we only lost two tenths of a pound. And yes, I've now had that week. I did lose two tenths of a pound last week. I worked out 5 days last week and I stayed within my point values.
But let's look closer at my week. I did work out Monday through Friday for at least 10 minutes each day. Actually on every day except Thursday I did 32 - 38 minutes of exercise. That doesn't include all the walking I did over the weekend. And I did eat within my point values. I didn't touch my 49 extra points or the 50 points that I tracked from working out Monday through Friday. So why the tiny loss? Well there are plenty of explanations. Let's first think that I had lost 23.8 pounds in 4 weeks. Which was an average of 5.95 pounds each week. That's a lot of weight, and the last week was over 3 pounds. This could be my body's way of leveling out. But, let's look at what I ate. Did I eat my full point value every day? No, I was short every day. And not just by a point or two, but looking at the days I tracked (which brings up another point), I was short by 15 points or more a day quite a few days. Here's the thing...with WW you need to eat your point values every day. By not, you can actually gain weight because your body is in starvation mode. Plus, I wasn't eating my healthy oil, or enough fruit or veggies last week. So that could be a reason for such a small loss.
Plus, I didn't track my food so well every day. Tracking can make a big difference. It will show you what you ate, where your points are and how many you have left. I know you are busy but it makes that much of a difference. If you don't write down you had 2 servings of cookies, are you going to count it in your head later that night when thinking of your counts? No, probably not. I didn't track on Friday...my reasoning being that I know that even with my salad, burger and 3 bites of cake I didn't go over my points. But if I would have thought it through I might have added a few points for the peanuts I ate, and a point for the large bite of yeast bread I took from my mom. Those little things add up.
If I can't be honest with myself in what I am eating and track it on my phone, or on a piece of paper until I get home, I won't be honest with myself in the results. That also means I would start to make excuses for how "bad" I am doing.
So, I've decided that fessing up to what I did wrong is the first step. Telling someone is the second (sorry, but I think you readers out there might hold me accountable). Third is finding ways to fix it. So, I've started pre-tracking items I know I am going to eat. I make sure my phone is by me at all meal times. I also am trying to make sure my dinner is at a reasonable hour. No more 8:30 dinners unless I know for certain I am staying up until after 1:30. I need at least 5 hours between meals and bed. Well at least I think I do. (I eat at 5-5:30 and go to bed after 10).
So, I ask, please keep the nice comments coming. Know people read and that you think I speak truthfully for myself (and sometimes for other big gals out there) is an inspriation. And, if you don't like what I am saying tell me. There is a comment section for that reason. Most of you are friends with me on Facebook, so you can put a message there. I am doing this for myself, but knowing I have a group of people out there that are holding me accountable to my goals and dreams really is a bigger inspiration to me than I ever though. Thanks!
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Yes we all know at some time during our weight loss journey we will hit a plateau. The reasoning behind plateaus are not really known, it just is something that frustrates the hell out of people. Or we have the week of gain, or even the week where we worked our butts off, but we only lost two tenths of a pound. And yes, I've now had that week. I did lose two tenths of a pound last week. I worked out 5 days last week and I stayed within my point values.
But let's look closer at my week. I did work out Monday through Friday for at least 10 minutes each day. Actually on every day except Thursday I did 32 - 38 minutes of exercise. That doesn't include all the walking I did over the weekend. And I did eat within my point values. I didn't touch my 49 extra points or the 50 points that I tracked from working out Monday through Friday. So why the tiny loss? Well there are plenty of explanations. Let's first think that I had lost 23.8 pounds in 4 weeks. Which was an average of 5.95 pounds each week. That's a lot of weight, and the last week was over 3 pounds. This could be my body's way of leveling out. But, let's look at what I ate. Did I eat my full point value every day? No, I was short every day. And not just by a point or two, but looking at the days I tracked (which brings up another point), I was short by 15 points or more a day quite a few days. Here's the thing...with WW you need to eat your point values every day. By not, you can actually gain weight because your body is in starvation mode. Plus, I wasn't eating my healthy oil, or enough fruit or veggies last week. So that could be a reason for such a small loss.
Plus, I didn't track my food so well every day. Tracking can make a big difference. It will show you what you ate, where your points are and how many you have left. I know you are busy but it makes that much of a difference. If you don't write down you had 2 servings of cookies, are you going to count it in your head later that night when thinking of your counts? No, probably not. I didn't track on Friday...my reasoning being that I know that even with my salad, burger and 3 bites of cake I didn't go over my points. But if I would have thought it through I might have added a few points for the peanuts I ate, and a point for the large bite of yeast bread I took from my mom. Those little things add up.
If I can't be honest with myself in what I am eating and track it on my phone, or on a piece of paper until I get home, I won't be honest with myself in the results. That also means I would start to make excuses for how "bad" I am doing.
So, I've decided that fessing up to what I did wrong is the first step. Telling someone is the second (sorry, but I think you readers out there might hold me accountable). Third is finding ways to fix it. So, I've started pre-tracking items I know I am going to eat. I make sure my phone is by me at all meal times. I also am trying to make sure my dinner is at a reasonable hour. No more 8:30 dinners unless I know for certain I am staying up until after 1:30. I need at least 5 hours between meals and bed. Well at least I think I do. (I eat at 5-5:30 and go to bed after 10).
So, I ask, please keep the nice comments coming. Know people read and that you think I speak truthfully for myself (and sometimes for other big gals out there) is an inspriation. And, if you don't like what I am saying tell me. There is a comment section for that reason. Most of you are friends with me on Facebook, so you can put a message there. I am doing this for myself, but knowing I have a group of people out there that are holding me accountable to my goals and dreams really is a bigger inspiration to me than I ever though. Thanks!
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Sunday, February 19, 2012
A Weekend Wrap Up
This weekend officially kicked my ass! Let me just say that up front. Here I am at 9:30 on Sunday typing this up in my pajamas curled up on my couch. I am just beat. But, I pushed myself this weekend, all while having fun. Heck, I even napped today for about a half an hour (which is rare for me since I started all this healthy living).
First of all, stress sucks. And secondly, it is unavoidable. There will always be stress in your life, it's all about how you deal with it. For me, it use to be with food. Now, it's throwing myself into my workout or doing something to keep my body moving. So, this weekend, my butt was in stress reducing mode. Luck for me, Matt had a 4 day weekend, so I scheduled myself off for those few days as well. This of course has helped in the whole stress busting idea.
So Friday, I kind of invited myself to hang out with my parents at the RV show in Rosemont. I say I invited myself because I asked my mom if we could join, and she said yes. I don't know for sure if they really wanted to be there by themselves, but we were able to go. If you are not a camper, or have never been to an RV show, it's a treat. I love seeing all the different layouts for the RV's and thinking of which one would be my starter camper, and which one I would get if I ever won a big lottery. I mean isn't it nice to dream.
Well, we walked that entire show at least once. In fact after putting in over 10,000 steps from noon to five (this didn't include my 5,000 plus steps from my morning workout) I was pretty much done. I decided to let my parents do what they wanted in finding their dream RV for the next few years. I relaxed in a few RV's, watched the news outside of an RV, and then sat and people watched. I think my final number of steps on my pedometer was somewhere in the 12,300 range. I was exhausted but excited. In years past my legs would hurt so bad, and my knees would be sore. It would be too much for me to go in and out the trailers because of the pain. I did all those steps and didn't complain. I even managed to power walk back from the area that the RV show was (in the back of the building) back to the parking garage. I didn't do the stairs up to the fourth floor, but I was already so much better than before.
Saturday I was up at 6:30. I swear sometimes, my dog is as bad as having a kid in getting us up early. After sitting around and not knowing what we were doing we decided to head out towards the mall so I could pick up a new pair of jeans as I am down to one pair and they are getting a little big. After gaining success in Kohl's we did make it to the mall and walked around before dinner. Yes, Saturday was considered the lazy day.
Now we come to today and Sunday. Up I got and we went to Brookfield Zoo. I was excited to find out it was free day today so we only had to pay for parking. That made the day better. Yes, it was a little cold out, but it was so much fun watching the animals and being outdoors. I got to see the lions, tigers, polar bears, the amur leopard and the sloth bear all awake and moving. I found a new spot to stand and watch the California Sea Lions swim, and during their feeding/training time. We got to enjoy the children's petting zoo (also free today), and get up close with a llama. (It sniffed my hand!) Oh, and I got to see the baby white-chick gibbon! It was so cute! I walked a good 6,693 steps from 10 AM when we arrived and 1:30 when we left. What a good day! Oh and that nap, it happened on our way home while Matt was driving. One moment we were on 355 on our way home from a stop in Bolingbrook, and the next I was in my garage. Yeah, I don't remember much of that drive.
But the big questions, what did I eat this weekend? Friday for dinner (which was late), I had a side caesar salad, with no croutons, and the dressing on the side. Then I had a burger (no cheese, no top bun, and no ketchup), with a baked potato. I think I had a few bites of the baked potato, and I was done. I was full, and it wasn't worth being stuff. I even had a few bites of a chocolate cake that got sent to our table by accident. Even with that I did not go over my points for the day. Saturday we had Chipotle for lunch, but dinner was snap peas, turkey burger with fat free cheese, jello and pineapple. Today I split a salad and a personal pan pizza with Matt for lunch, had cereal, milk, and yogurt for breakfast, fruit during the day, and for dinner left overs from Thursday night. I splurged a little, but still managed to stay within my points total.
Am I stressed anymore? Nope, I am too tired to be stressed, so I guess it worked!
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
First of all, stress sucks. And secondly, it is unavoidable. There will always be stress in your life, it's all about how you deal with it. For me, it use to be with food. Now, it's throwing myself into my workout or doing something to keep my body moving. So, this weekend, my butt was in stress reducing mode. Luck for me, Matt had a 4 day weekend, so I scheduled myself off for those few days as well. This of course has helped in the whole stress busting idea.
So Friday, I kind of invited myself to hang out with my parents at the RV show in Rosemont. I say I invited myself because I asked my mom if we could join, and she said yes. I don't know for sure if they really wanted to be there by themselves, but we were able to go. If you are not a camper, or have never been to an RV show, it's a treat. I love seeing all the different layouts for the RV's and thinking of which one would be my starter camper, and which one I would get if I ever won a big lottery. I mean isn't it nice to dream.
Well, we walked that entire show at least once. In fact after putting in over 10,000 steps from noon to five (this didn't include my 5,000 plus steps from my morning workout) I was pretty much done. I decided to let my parents do what they wanted in finding their dream RV for the next few years. I relaxed in a few RV's, watched the news outside of an RV, and then sat and people watched. I think my final number of steps on my pedometer was somewhere in the 12,300 range. I was exhausted but excited. In years past my legs would hurt so bad, and my knees would be sore. It would be too much for me to go in and out the trailers because of the pain. I did all those steps and didn't complain. I even managed to power walk back from the area that the RV show was (in the back of the building) back to the parking garage. I didn't do the stairs up to the fourth floor, but I was already so much better than before.
Saturday I was up at 6:30. I swear sometimes, my dog is as bad as having a kid in getting us up early. After sitting around and not knowing what we were doing we decided to head out towards the mall so I could pick up a new pair of jeans as I am down to one pair and they are getting a little big. After gaining success in Kohl's we did make it to the mall and walked around before dinner. Yes, Saturday was considered the lazy day.
Now we come to today and Sunday. Up I got and we went to Brookfield Zoo. I was excited to find out it was free day today so we only had to pay for parking. That made the day better. Yes, it was a little cold out, but it was so much fun watching the animals and being outdoors. I got to see the lions, tigers, polar bears, the amur leopard and the sloth bear all awake and moving. I found a new spot to stand and watch the California Sea Lions swim, and during their feeding/training time. We got to enjoy the children's petting zoo (also free today), and get up close with a llama. (It sniffed my hand!) Oh, and I got to see the baby white-chick gibbon! It was so cute! I walked a good 6,693 steps from 10 AM when we arrived and 1:30 when we left. What a good day! Oh and that nap, it happened on our way home while Matt was driving. One moment we were on 355 on our way home from a stop in Bolingbrook, and the next I was in my garage. Yeah, I don't remember much of that drive.
But the big questions, what did I eat this weekend? Friday for dinner (which was late), I had a side caesar salad, with no croutons, and the dressing on the side. Then I had a burger (no cheese, no top bun, and no ketchup), with a baked potato. I think I had a few bites of the baked potato, and I was done. I was full, and it wasn't worth being stuff. I even had a few bites of a chocolate cake that got sent to our table by accident. Even with that I did not go over my points for the day. Saturday we had Chipotle for lunch, but dinner was snap peas, turkey burger with fat free cheese, jello and pineapple. Today I split a salad and a personal pan pizza with Matt for lunch, had cereal, milk, and yogurt for breakfast, fruit during the day, and for dinner left overs from Thursday night. I splurged a little, but still managed to stay within my points total.
Am I stressed anymore? Nope, I am too tired to be stressed, so I guess it worked!
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
A Valentine's Day Thought
As I sit here before dinner on Valentine's Day, it's amazing to me how much difference a year can make. Or in my case a few weeks. I was going to make homemade tequila lime chicken fajita's for dinner with a side of brown rice with salsa for Matt. Me, I was just going to have some brown rice and veggies on the side. The best part was that it was only 14 points. That is a was because unfortunately my chicken breast didn't thaw enough for me to marinate or cook.
Instead of getting all pissy and upset...wait who am I kidding, I was pissy and upset. Let's rephrase. Instead of taking my disappointment out by having Matt get me greasy food, or a huge pasta dish with lots of creamy sauce my first thought was, "Let's have some Subway." My thinking on that is just because I know I can have a 6 inch or footlong sub for all of 7-15 points, and not ruin my day with a big bowl of pasta.
This is a huge change for me. I still am a boredom and emotional eater. I am a food addict. That isn't something that just goes away. And unlike someone who is addicted to alcohol or drugs, I can't "kick the habit" and swear it off again. Really, I can't live without food. I have to change my thinking. I am not saying it's easy. It is one of the most difficult things I've ever done. But, I have seen progress already.
As a food addict, eating food wasn't something I necessarily thought of, but just did. For example, if I was at my friend's for a party, or my family's for a party I would find myself eating all damn day. The worst part was, I didn't realize how much I had eaten at all until I finished. Now when faced with food sitting out I find myself keeping out of the room. This is a HUGE hazard for me in my business, and with some things I do all the time. I mean just at dartball tonight there will be sweets and/or snacks. Last week was Ritz Crackers, sliced cheese and pretzels. I knew that I had to stay as far away from that kitchen, or table, or whatever it was to keep away.
I find that my resolve is pretty good still on my 5th week of watching what food I eat. The only other time I stuck to my guns this long or longer was when I was in a competition at work for losing the most weight (which don't ever get me started on). The reasoning? Maybe it's because I have a good goal in mind, and it's the first motivator to ever really work for me. Or, maybe it's because I am seeing result. I mean 23.8 pounds in 4 weeks is amazing. I've averaged 5.95 pounds a week. (Side note, healthy weight lose is 2 pounds per week or 1% of your weight whichever is higher. I am not endorsing any one to lose this much weight this quick. It's easier to put back on, and can be done in a way that makes you lose muscle). I'm enjoying my workouts. I find on days that I don't put in a work out that I am tired, and sluggish. Heck the last two Saturday's I didn't work out I ended up exhausted by 8 and wanting to be in bed by 9.
I guess I can sum it all up by saying, it's working. My thoughts aren't the same as they were before I started this. And, I don't feel deprived at all. I have ice cream here and there. I love my air popped popcorn, and sugar free jello. I can eat out without depriving myself. And yes, when I have a craving for french fries I can get a small, and not worry about it derailing me. I never thought I would say these types of things, but here I am typing it out for the world to see.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Instead of getting all pissy and upset...wait who am I kidding, I was pissy and upset. Let's rephrase. Instead of taking my disappointment out by having Matt get me greasy food, or a huge pasta dish with lots of creamy sauce my first thought was, "Let's have some Subway." My thinking on that is just because I know I can have a 6 inch or footlong sub for all of 7-15 points, and not ruin my day with a big bowl of pasta.
This is a huge change for me. I still am a boredom and emotional eater. I am a food addict. That isn't something that just goes away. And unlike someone who is addicted to alcohol or drugs, I can't "kick the habit" and swear it off again. Really, I can't live without food. I have to change my thinking. I am not saying it's easy. It is one of the most difficult things I've ever done. But, I have seen progress already.
As a food addict, eating food wasn't something I necessarily thought of, but just did. For example, if I was at my friend's for a party, or my family's for a party I would find myself eating all damn day. The worst part was, I didn't realize how much I had eaten at all until I finished. Now when faced with food sitting out I find myself keeping out of the room. This is a HUGE hazard for me in my business, and with some things I do all the time. I mean just at dartball tonight there will be sweets and/or snacks. Last week was Ritz Crackers, sliced cheese and pretzels. I knew that I had to stay as far away from that kitchen, or table, or whatever it was to keep away.
I find that my resolve is pretty good still on my 5th week of watching what food I eat. The only other time I stuck to my guns this long or longer was when I was in a competition at work for losing the most weight (which don't ever get me started on). The reasoning? Maybe it's because I have a good goal in mind, and it's the first motivator to ever really work for me. Or, maybe it's because I am seeing result. I mean 23.8 pounds in 4 weeks is amazing. I've averaged 5.95 pounds a week. (Side note, healthy weight lose is 2 pounds per week or 1% of your weight whichever is higher. I am not endorsing any one to lose this much weight this quick. It's easier to put back on, and can be done in a way that makes you lose muscle). I'm enjoying my workouts. I find on days that I don't put in a work out that I am tired, and sluggish. Heck the last two Saturday's I didn't work out I ended up exhausted by 8 and wanting to be in bed by 9.
I guess I can sum it all up by saying, it's working. My thoughts aren't the same as they were before I started this. And, I don't feel deprived at all. I have ice cream here and there. I love my air popped popcorn, and sugar free jello. I can eat out without depriving myself. And yes, when I have a craving for french fries I can get a small, and not worry about it derailing me. I never thought I would say these types of things, but here I am typing it out for the world to see.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Monday, February 13, 2012
Monday Morning Cheer Up
I am starting this at 7:30 in the morning while waiting on the hubby to finish his workout this morning. Yes, that means my back is not fully healed yet. I know when I can either sleep through the night without waking up to roll over from pain, or get out of the bed with no issues that I am almost ready to step up on the workouts. With that, it's been a frustrating week. I've missed my workouts, and I can't stand to sit downstairs and watch my husband do the workout. It makes me want to get up and do it, even if it hurts.
Instead I am starting a walking only workout this morning until I can get into the entire intense workout again. I am hoping that the walking workout will not be too strenuous on my back. I figure if it's not too bad, I can get a 2-3 mile walk in this morning before my weight in.
But after the weekend I decided that I would share some of my tips, secrets and tricks we use in this house to up the flavor, feel like we are getting a treat, or to keep those point values lower when we are cooking. Some of these are no point adds, so if you are a weight watcher, this is a great thing for you.
Brown Rice: I'll be the first to admit that I highly dislike the instant brown rice. I don't give a crap if it's a power food, or how good it is for me, the regular white instant rice I can do so much more with. So, instead I went an purchased a bag of long grain (long cook as I call it) brown rice. Now, don't try to make this if you don't have time to cook it. The bag it comes in says it take 35-45 minutes. Personally after that amount of time the rice still had a TON of "crunch" left in it, and it wasn't very good. So, I did a little trick that seemed to work much better. I made my brown rice kind of like risotto. First I increased the amount of liquid from 1 cup for 2 servings to 3 cups. And I say liquid because I use about 1 1/2 - 2 cups of chicken broth and the remaining is water. Why? If you use 3 cups of broth your rice is very salty. And salt retains water. And, it just doesn't taste all that good. So what I do is get my broth nice and hot. In a separate pan I warm it up and add a little oil. (I use my EVOO as Rachel would say) I then "toast" the rice for a few minutes in the oil. Once the rice is toast I start adding my liquid a little at a time. And when I say a little I mean I add just enough to cover the brown rice. I stir it up for a minute or so. Once I am done stirring I make sure it comes up to a bowl, and cover the pan. I let the brown rice simmer on a low heat for about 20 minutes or so. I then repeat with the liquid, as many times as it take for all the liquid to be absorbed. Please note, that sometimes it takes longer on the last few additions of liquid. The best part, the rice still has a slight crunch on some pieces, but it's consistency is more like white rice, and the flavor is out of this world. If you have the extra points, add some parmesan cheese at the end and stir it in. If you get the powdered Kraft it adds 2 points to the 4 point brown rice. It all depends on how many points you have, and how much dairy you have had for the day.
Chicken or Pork: In our house we do a lot of BLSL (BoneLess, SkinLess) Chicken Breast, and Pork chops. Let's be honest, it can get a bit old having it the same way, so I like to try and find ways to change it up some nights. Last night we had some pork chops that we seasoned about 15 minutes before cooking with salt, pepper, and Old Bay seasoning. I then just cooked them in the pan for 2-3 minutes per side (they were thinner pieces) and then took off the pan. I then added some water to the pan (to bring up the drippings, and to flavor). To the water I added some chicken base, pepper, Old Bay and Creole seasoning. I stirred it up until the chicken base dissolved, and keeping that heat high I waited for the water to reduce in size intensifying the flavor. Then when it was good and reduced I added the pork chops to the boiling liquid. This warmed up the pork chop without drying it out. And the remaining sauce could be poured over some potatoes or couscous (since it seems to be dry and sticky). Other "sauces" I've created was a soy sauce based pan sauce (soy sauce, water, pepper and garlic) and a "plain" which is just stock and no added seasonings.
Carrots: I am not a big fan of carrots, but my husband loves it, so I thought I would share. Last night he took about 3 carrots, peeled them and cut them into slices. He then put them in a pan on the stove with a little water added, and cooked them up. Once they were cooked he took a zero point brown mustard and added it to the pan, stirred them up and was done. He ate about a cup of this carrots mixture, and was happy.
Corn, peas, green beans etc: Especially this time of year I get lots of frozen veggies. And even though corn has points I love it so I want it. What I do to cook it instead of just steaming the frozen veggies is yummy. I put the corn in a small saute pan and add 1 serving of light butter to it. That adds a point, once you add some salt and pepper at the end the flavor of the corn is different then steamed. It's a great treat. Plus you could add small pieces of bell pepper and onion to it if you want.
Flavor enhancers: When I am cooking I know that when there is flavor I eat slower to savor it, and I have a chance to feel that I am full. In order to do that I flavor my food as much as I can. When I make a salad I add a touch of salt, and some pepper to the lettuce. These seasons my lettuce, plus I find that I don't use as much dressing. You don't need the flavor from the dressing if your lettuce has flavor already. My favorite seasoning blends are Old Bay and Creole Seasoning. Both of these give a "kick" to my food, and have great seasonings in them. I have no clue what they are but the Creole is also great in trying to create a "blackened" food. Your food may not turn black but use enough of it, and it will have the kick you are looking for. While making a casserole (yes I found one that is 6-9 points per serving depending on the size of your serving), I use a touch of salt, more pepper, garlic powder, oregano seasoning, and cayenne pepper. Oh yes, that flavor makes you slow down. It's not enough to make me feel that I am having a spicy food, but gives it an extra kick.
Now, I am not saying these are for everyone but these are my tricks to having a small treat with my dinner. More tips to come.
Oh, and it worked. I just got back from my meeting this week. Only 2 workouts all week and I have lost 4 pounds. That's 23.8 total, and I am aiming for 2.4 next week.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Instead I am starting a walking only workout this morning until I can get into the entire intense workout again. I am hoping that the walking workout will not be too strenuous on my back. I figure if it's not too bad, I can get a 2-3 mile walk in this morning before my weight in.
But after the weekend I decided that I would share some of my tips, secrets and tricks we use in this house to up the flavor, feel like we are getting a treat, or to keep those point values lower when we are cooking. Some of these are no point adds, so if you are a weight watcher, this is a great thing for you.
Brown Rice: I'll be the first to admit that I highly dislike the instant brown rice. I don't give a crap if it's a power food, or how good it is for me, the regular white instant rice I can do so much more with. So, instead I went an purchased a bag of long grain (long cook as I call it) brown rice. Now, don't try to make this if you don't have time to cook it. The bag it comes in says it take 35-45 minutes. Personally after that amount of time the rice still had a TON of "crunch" left in it, and it wasn't very good. So, I did a little trick that seemed to work much better. I made my brown rice kind of like risotto. First I increased the amount of liquid from 1 cup for 2 servings to 3 cups. And I say liquid because I use about 1 1/2 - 2 cups of chicken broth and the remaining is water. Why? If you use 3 cups of broth your rice is very salty. And salt retains water. And, it just doesn't taste all that good. So what I do is get my broth nice and hot. In a separate pan I warm it up and add a little oil. (I use my EVOO as Rachel would say) I then "toast" the rice for a few minutes in the oil. Once the rice is toast I start adding my liquid a little at a time. And when I say a little I mean I add just enough to cover the brown rice. I stir it up for a minute or so. Once I am done stirring I make sure it comes up to a bowl, and cover the pan. I let the brown rice simmer on a low heat for about 20 minutes or so. I then repeat with the liquid, as many times as it take for all the liquid to be absorbed. Please note, that sometimes it takes longer on the last few additions of liquid. The best part, the rice still has a slight crunch on some pieces, but it's consistency is more like white rice, and the flavor is out of this world. If you have the extra points, add some parmesan cheese at the end and stir it in. If you get the powdered Kraft it adds 2 points to the 4 point brown rice. It all depends on how many points you have, and how much dairy you have had for the day.
Chicken or Pork: In our house we do a lot of BLSL (BoneLess, SkinLess) Chicken Breast, and Pork chops. Let's be honest, it can get a bit old having it the same way, so I like to try and find ways to change it up some nights. Last night we had some pork chops that we seasoned about 15 minutes before cooking with salt, pepper, and Old Bay seasoning. I then just cooked them in the pan for 2-3 minutes per side (they were thinner pieces) and then took off the pan. I then added some water to the pan (to bring up the drippings, and to flavor). To the water I added some chicken base, pepper, Old Bay and Creole seasoning. I stirred it up until the chicken base dissolved, and keeping that heat high I waited for the water to reduce in size intensifying the flavor. Then when it was good and reduced I added the pork chops to the boiling liquid. This warmed up the pork chop without drying it out. And the remaining sauce could be poured over some potatoes or couscous (since it seems to be dry and sticky). Other "sauces" I've created was a soy sauce based pan sauce (soy sauce, water, pepper and garlic) and a "plain" which is just stock and no added seasonings.
Carrots: I am not a big fan of carrots, but my husband loves it, so I thought I would share. Last night he took about 3 carrots, peeled them and cut them into slices. He then put them in a pan on the stove with a little water added, and cooked them up. Once they were cooked he took a zero point brown mustard and added it to the pan, stirred them up and was done. He ate about a cup of this carrots mixture, and was happy.
Corn, peas, green beans etc: Especially this time of year I get lots of frozen veggies. And even though corn has points I love it so I want it. What I do to cook it instead of just steaming the frozen veggies is yummy. I put the corn in a small saute pan and add 1 serving of light butter to it. That adds a point, once you add some salt and pepper at the end the flavor of the corn is different then steamed. It's a great treat. Plus you could add small pieces of bell pepper and onion to it if you want.
Flavor enhancers: When I am cooking I know that when there is flavor I eat slower to savor it, and I have a chance to feel that I am full. In order to do that I flavor my food as much as I can. When I make a salad I add a touch of salt, and some pepper to the lettuce. These seasons my lettuce, plus I find that I don't use as much dressing. You don't need the flavor from the dressing if your lettuce has flavor already. My favorite seasoning blends are Old Bay and Creole Seasoning. Both of these give a "kick" to my food, and have great seasonings in them. I have no clue what they are but the Creole is also great in trying to create a "blackened" food. Your food may not turn black but use enough of it, and it will have the kick you are looking for. While making a casserole (yes I found one that is 6-9 points per serving depending on the size of your serving), I use a touch of salt, more pepper, garlic powder, oregano seasoning, and cayenne pepper. Oh yes, that flavor makes you slow down. It's not enough to make me feel that I am having a spicy food, but gives it an extra kick.
Now, I am not saying these are for everyone but these are my tricks to having a small treat with my dinner. More tips to come.
Oh, and it worked. I just got back from my meeting this week. Only 2 workouts all week and I have lost 4 pounds. That's 23.8 total, and I am aiming for 2.4 next week.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Friday, February 10, 2012
Not much has changed
Yes, this is a bad week for me. After pulling my back out on Wednesday I still have not been able to work out. Yesterday wasn't terrible with the pain, but I couldn't do things I wanted to do. Oh, and watching me get out of my car is funny as hell. First of all I have to ride with the seat in the "full and upright" position. This keeps my back straight, and the pain is much less while riding. However, my back tenses up in the car. I think it's something about the way my legs are in the car that makes my back tense up. So, when we have finally stopped, I slowly open the door. My first leg comes out, all while I am slowly turing my entire body towards the door. Then I attempt to move my other leg out, while continuing to move my entire body (in a turn that is). Once my feet are outside the door, I put a hand on each side of the frame, and slowly get my upper body in position with my lower. Then I have to pull myself up with my arms while pushing with my legs to stand. Then I have to attempt to move. Once I have stood up it's almost like my back locks up and my first step or two are so painful I am afraid of falling over. Once I get a few steps away I am usually pretty good.
But, with all that pain, means no exercise at all. I know better. I've done this to my back before, and starting on the intense workouts I have would not be good for me healing. So, for the past few days it's making me work a little harder when I don't have to. If I am watching television in our lowest level, I walk up to the highest level to use the bathroom instead of the one on that floor. If I can stretch my back out, I am doing it. I get up and walk around the room while commercials are on. Anything to keep me moving.
The scary part for me, I have to work tonight. I love my job so I don't mind working. It's the 45 minute drive out to the person's house, and the carrying of my product into the house that scares me the most. Plus the unpacking of my boxes, the re-packing of the boxes, packing my car back up and the 45 minute drive home. Thankfully, my mom was invited to this party and she is going to drive my car for me. I have lightened my boxes so if someone hands it to me, I know I can carry it for a short distance, but I don't want to set it down. That plus the snow...this is going to be a fun night!
But, I have a happy side. I am getting some work out tapes from my mom. They are not intense, and it is literally mostly walking in place in my own house. I think I can do this work out for the next two days if my back is still bothering me. Here's to hoping that no matter what some more weight comes off on Monday.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
But, with all that pain, means no exercise at all. I know better. I've done this to my back before, and starting on the intense workouts I have would not be good for me healing. So, for the past few days it's making me work a little harder when I don't have to. If I am watching television in our lowest level, I walk up to the highest level to use the bathroom instead of the one on that floor. If I can stretch my back out, I am doing it. I get up and walk around the room while commercials are on. Anything to keep me moving.
The scary part for me, I have to work tonight. I love my job so I don't mind working. It's the 45 minute drive out to the person's house, and the carrying of my product into the house that scares me the most. Plus the unpacking of my boxes, the re-packing of the boxes, packing my car back up and the 45 minute drive home. Thankfully, my mom was invited to this party and she is going to drive my car for me. I have lightened my boxes so if someone hands it to me, I know I can carry it for a short distance, but I don't want to set it down. That plus the snow...this is going to be a fun night!
But, I have a happy side. I am getting some work out tapes from my mom. They are not intense, and it is literally mostly walking in place in my own house. I think I can do this work out for the next two days if my back is still bothering me. Here's to hoping that no matter what some more weight comes off on Monday.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Trying to Keep Positive
It's Wednesday morning at 7:45 as I begin to write this, and I am not a very happy girl. It has nothing to do with the way I slept last night or the fact that my allergies are terrible. It has everything to do with the fact that I am sitting in the "office" typing this blog and I am not downstairs working out with my husband.
I started on Monday doing great. We had just one 20 minute workout. I was happy and good. It was great before my weigh-in. Then yesterday morning we had a 20 minute workout and a 20 minute ab sculpting workout. That was...interesting. I manage to love the workout, sweat my butt off, curse out the "leader" of the workout, and enjoy myself all at the same time. My knee was starting to bother me again, and I knew that it would only get worse with the workouts later in the week.
So yesterday I began my search for the knee brace or sleeve. I figure I don't need much, just something that is going to keep my knee in place while I am doing my twist, turns and bends. Something that supports my knee so I can fully work out. I went to the local CVS. They had like 5 knee braces or sleeves. There were a few that looked good. But, they only had 1 that went to a size XL and of course that wasn't in stock. I then headed over to my hair stylist to pick up my water bottle, and there is a medical supply place a few doors down. They measured my thigh (so embarrassing), but they are out of stock on the size that I currently need. Great, thanks for nothing. I decide to try the Walgreens that is kind of on my way home but not. HALLELUJAH! They have just one that goes to my size.
Which, puts me on a tangent. When you go to purchase a knee brace, or other braces for joints in your body look at the sizes. I hate those stupid one sizers. Why? Because most of the time they only go to that brands large size. Um, not to be mean, but just cause I am fat and a big girl doesn't mean I don't do things that may hurt my knee, ankle, or wrist. I need something that fits it. Now, let's be honest...how many people that have thighs that are 22 inches or bigger around have knee issues? And yet they can't just go and pick up a knee brace or sleeve to help them get into the workout scene.
Anyway, back to the story. So I got up bright and early this morning excited that I can try this workout with my knee brace/sleeve. I might be able to do most of the workout without modifications for my knee. I know I've been holding back because of it. There I was knee brace on, workout mode in my head and doing my warm-ups when it happened. Out of nowhere there was that sudden sharp pain in my back. I sucked my breath in, and instantly stood up. That did not feel good. I walked around, hoping it was just a little issue and went back to try it some more. I was modifying everything.
I finally decided when I couldn't do my punches without my back hurting that working out this morning was not in the best interest for my health. Right at that point the pain wasn't too bad, it was just a small pain in the back that didn't bother me until I twisted, turned, or tried to bend at the back. (Yeah, pretty much an entire workout right?) I mean, would it really be worth it to hurt myself further to get a workout in? At least this way I can try to rest my back and get up tomorrow to try again. If I just went for it toady, who knows how bad it would have hurt tomorrow.
I am trying to stay positive, because I am starting to enjoy my workouts. I finish them and I jump around, and want to go for a long walk. Or I dance around the bathroom while getting ready in the morning. I feel like I have a storage place for energy in my body that gets filled up when I do my workout, and it is overflowing in the morning. I have to move my body to get rid of the excess before I can do anything else. I went this morning from excited to do a new 40 minute workout with no issues from my knee, to a pissed off fat girl that hurt her back.
But what I learned today is there are going to be lots of little stumbling stones on my path. I got through some of the first ones, my knee being in pain, desserts I have to make, a super bowl party. Now, I have to get through this one and make it through the day.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
I started on Monday doing great. We had just one 20 minute workout. I was happy and good. It was great before my weigh-in. Then yesterday morning we had a 20 minute workout and a 20 minute ab sculpting workout. That was...interesting. I manage to love the workout, sweat my butt off, curse out the "leader" of the workout, and enjoy myself all at the same time. My knee was starting to bother me again, and I knew that it would only get worse with the workouts later in the week.
So yesterday I began my search for the knee brace or sleeve. I figure I don't need much, just something that is going to keep my knee in place while I am doing my twist, turns and bends. Something that supports my knee so I can fully work out. I went to the local CVS. They had like 5 knee braces or sleeves. There were a few that looked good. But, they only had 1 that went to a size XL and of course that wasn't in stock. I then headed over to my hair stylist to pick up my water bottle, and there is a medical supply place a few doors down. They measured my thigh (so embarrassing), but they are out of stock on the size that I currently need. Great, thanks for nothing. I decide to try the Walgreens that is kind of on my way home but not. HALLELUJAH! They have just one that goes to my size.
Which, puts me on a tangent. When you go to purchase a knee brace, or other braces for joints in your body look at the sizes. I hate those stupid one sizers. Why? Because most of the time they only go to that brands large size. Um, not to be mean, but just cause I am fat and a big girl doesn't mean I don't do things that may hurt my knee, ankle, or wrist. I need something that fits it. Now, let's be honest...how many people that have thighs that are 22 inches or bigger around have knee issues? And yet they can't just go and pick up a knee brace or sleeve to help them get into the workout scene.
Anyway, back to the story. So I got up bright and early this morning excited that I can try this workout with my knee brace/sleeve. I might be able to do most of the workout without modifications for my knee. I know I've been holding back because of it. There I was knee brace on, workout mode in my head and doing my warm-ups when it happened. Out of nowhere there was that sudden sharp pain in my back. I sucked my breath in, and instantly stood up. That did not feel good. I walked around, hoping it was just a little issue and went back to try it some more. I was modifying everything.
I finally decided when I couldn't do my punches without my back hurting that working out this morning was not in the best interest for my health. Right at that point the pain wasn't too bad, it was just a small pain in the back that didn't bother me until I twisted, turned, or tried to bend at the back. (Yeah, pretty much an entire workout right?) I mean, would it really be worth it to hurt myself further to get a workout in? At least this way I can try to rest my back and get up tomorrow to try again. If I just went for it toady, who knows how bad it would have hurt tomorrow.
I am trying to stay positive, because I am starting to enjoy my workouts. I finish them and I jump around, and want to go for a long walk. Or I dance around the bathroom while getting ready in the morning. I feel like I have a storage place for energy in my body that gets filled up when I do my workout, and it is overflowing in the morning. I have to move my body to get rid of the excess before I can do anything else. I went this morning from excited to do a new 40 minute workout with no issues from my knee, to a pissed off fat girl that hurt her back.
But what I learned today is there are going to be lots of little stumbling stones on my path. I got through some of the first ones, my knee being in pain, desserts I have to make, a super bowl party. Now, I have to get through this one and make it through the day.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Monday, February 6, 2012
Weekend Part 2
Okay, now that I have successfully navigated my family party I now had my sights set to Sunday and the Super Bowl party. Now, not that my friends are not supportive, but I really don't expect them not to make or bring all those foods that they love because my husband and I really shouldn't eat them. I mean how fair is that. If they were at my house, it would have been a different story.
So, first set of business is making sure I have food I will eat. Matt and I got veggies to make a veggie tray. That helped. Then I made some sugar free Jello. Oh, and my little trick that is right on the box to make it feel even naughtier...instead of using cold water, I use cold diet lemon lime soda. Sometimes it may change the flavor a bit, or you can taste it, but the fizz when you are eating it, is so worth that! I decided to take one of my 2 point Special K snack bars, and a individual serving of Velvetta's Shell's & Cheese with 2% milk. Oh, plus I brought my left over cupcakes. I had 1 for me, and the rest could now be out of my house.
I did eat lunch before I left and made sure that I wasn't hungry before the car ride. I was the first one their so that helped a bit. Then everyone started to trickle in and so did the food. We had homemade "sliders," crackers, cheese, sausage, pretzels, potato chips, wings in a variety of sauces and pigs in a blanket. Oh my, this was going to be a little hard. But, I knew I could do this. Did I stay away from all the food? No, why or how could I? I had points left over as this was "dinner," and tell me who could be around all that food for 4 or 5 hours and not touch any of it.
However, I was well behaved. I ate my shells and cheese, I had some veggies but I also had a couple pigs in a blanket and some crackers and cheese. Did I eat a lot of them? No, but I counted the points for them. I had my cupcake during the half time show, and some jello in the 4th quarter. I left the house and I felt great.
There was a huge bottle of water that I drank. I only had 2 glasses of pop, before more water. I didn't have any alcohol at all! I didn't not eat, but I ate far less than I ever had at a Super Bowl party before. As a self proclaimed food addict let me tell you, this was not easy. Had I not been trying to be good this would have been a completely different story. First, I wouldn't have brought veggies, but probably one of my high calorie, high fat foods with lots of starch. It would have been my "stuff" on a shingles (equal parts ground beef, pork sausage, and velvetta cheese on a piece of bread and toasted), or my taco dip (taco meat and cheese sauce used to dip chips into). Then I would have gorged on the item I made, had about 10 pigs in a blanket, and half the cheese and crackers. Let alone I would have touched the chips, and had 2 cupcakes that were left over from the party.
This isn't going to be easy all the time. But, I knew if I couldn't conquer myself on Super Bowl Sunday, what was going to happen at my next family party, or Easter, or when I am in the car on a 15 hour road trip? I needed to know I could do it this time, so it will be easier in the future!
The truth is in the numbers however, and this morning was weigh in. I got up early and worked out. It felt great (though that knee and I are not always getting along). I got in the shower, used the blow dryer on my hair, and got ready. I ended up showing up 1/2 before the meeting so I could weigh in and eat. (I was starved). I stepped on the scale and I heard "Wow" from Barb on the other side. I was thinking okay, is that a good wow or a bad wow? It was a great wow! I lost another 5 pounds last week, and I am now down 19.8 pounds. This is my 3rd weigh in. I don't expect this high weight loss trend to continue (besides it isn't always healthy). But, I am well on my way to reaching all of my goals over the next 11 months. Over 5% of my starting weight is gone. Until next time...
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
So, first set of business is making sure I have food I will eat. Matt and I got veggies to make a veggie tray. That helped. Then I made some sugar free Jello. Oh, and my little trick that is right on the box to make it feel even naughtier...instead of using cold water, I use cold diet lemon lime soda. Sometimes it may change the flavor a bit, or you can taste it, but the fizz when you are eating it, is so worth that! I decided to take one of my 2 point Special K snack bars, and a individual serving of Velvetta's Shell's & Cheese with 2% milk. Oh, plus I brought my left over cupcakes. I had 1 for me, and the rest could now be out of my house.
I did eat lunch before I left and made sure that I wasn't hungry before the car ride. I was the first one their so that helped a bit. Then everyone started to trickle in and so did the food. We had homemade "sliders," crackers, cheese, sausage, pretzels, potato chips, wings in a variety of sauces and pigs in a blanket. Oh my, this was going to be a little hard. But, I knew I could do this. Did I stay away from all the food? No, why or how could I? I had points left over as this was "dinner," and tell me who could be around all that food for 4 or 5 hours and not touch any of it.
However, I was well behaved. I ate my shells and cheese, I had some veggies but I also had a couple pigs in a blanket and some crackers and cheese. Did I eat a lot of them? No, but I counted the points for them. I had my cupcake during the half time show, and some jello in the 4th quarter. I left the house and I felt great.
There was a huge bottle of water that I drank. I only had 2 glasses of pop, before more water. I didn't have any alcohol at all! I didn't not eat, but I ate far less than I ever had at a Super Bowl party before. As a self proclaimed food addict let me tell you, this was not easy. Had I not been trying to be good this would have been a completely different story. First, I wouldn't have brought veggies, but probably one of my high calorie, high fat foods with lots of starch. It would have been my "stuff" on a shingles (equal parts ground beef, pork sausage, and velvetta cheese on a piece of bread and toasted), or my taco dip (taco meat and cheese sauce used to dip chips into). Then I would have gorged on the item I made, had about 10 pigs in a blanket, and half the cheese and crackers. Let alone I would have touched the chips, and had 2 cupcakes that were left over from the party.
This isn't going to be easy all the time. But, I knew if I couldn't conquer myself on Super Bowl Sunday, what was going to happen at my next family party, or Easter, or when I am in the car on a 15 hour road trip? I needed to know I could do it this time, so it will be easier in the future!
The truth is in the numbers however, and this morning was weigh in. I got up early and worked out. It felt great (though that knee and I are not always getting along). I got in the shower, used the blow dryer on my hair, and got ready. I ended up showing up 1/2 before the meeting so I could weigh in and eat. (I was starved). I stepped on the scale and I heard "Wow" from Barb on the other side. I was thinking okay, is that a good wow or a bad wow? It was a great wow! I lost another 5 pounds last week, and I am now down 19.8 pounds. This is my 3rd weigh in. I don't expect this high weight loss trend to continue (besides it isn't always healthy). But, I am well on my way to reaching all of my goals over the next 11 months. Over 5% of my starting weight is gone. Until next time...
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Weekend Part 1
This is my, what...third weekend since I started and this is the hardest weekend I ever had. Not only was it Super Bowl Sunday, which we as Americans eat more on this day than any other day of the year, save one - Thanksgiving. But, it was also the weekend we were celebrating my sister's birthday from last month and my brother in law's birthday later this month. That makes for a lot of will power and food that was going to be hard.
I'm breaking the weekend into separate posts, just to keep them shorter (which with me is a wish more than anything as we either know or seen...I am long winded). So, first up is Saturday and the birthday get together. This was going to be my entire immediate family, which unfortunately, doesn't get together as often as we would like. Now the good part is that not only am I doing Weight Watchers, but so is my husband, and my father. My mom is watching what she eats, but not really doing Weight Watchers. With that in mind most of the food was going to be pretty good for us.
The hard part...dessert. It was decided that I would bring dessert since I am the baker of the family. Oh, and since you took Mom's recipe for her banana cake and "fixed" it to make it better, that is what the birthday people want. Have fun. Um yeah, not that I can't have the dessert, but let's torture me with having to have that baking scent in my house. Oh, and while your at it, your frosting is divine...you know the one that you make with butter, powder sugar, vanilla, and your secret ingredient...heavy whipping cream to keep it light. Yeah, can you put that on top of the cupcakes. TORTURE! I freaking love that frosting. I can take the extra frosting, put it on graham crackers and eat it as a snack. And now you want me to make it to put on top of the damn cupcakes, and not have the left over. Yeah, I have a few choice words...not printable for good reason.
So here I am Saturday morning, measuring out my ingredients, sifting, mixing, mashing the whole nine yards. And do my cupcakes turn out great. They smell delicious, they feel springy, and the color is perfect. All 24 of them finish cooling and it is time for my frosting. I keep telling myself, I can do this. You really only need to taste it a little to finish it off. You don't have to eat a ton of it. I start by measuring out my starting powder sugar, and the butter. I mixed it, then added my vanilla. Then came time to start adding my whipping cream. Slowly and mix. It was going good, but I definitely needed more powder sugar. Keep mixing, keep mixing...damn it what is wrong with my hand mixer? I need you why won't you work!!!!!!!! I blew it up. My hand mixer stopped working right in the middle of my frosting making. What the heck. Yeah, I tried to keep going, but it just didn't work the same.
I tasted a little bit, and even had my husband taste it and it was okay but just not up to my high standards. I had to use it as I had no other choice but the frosting wasn't as good as I wanted. However, I saved 5 cucpakes that I refused to frost. Why? I had a tub of Fat Free Cool Whip that was almost thawed. I added a package of White Chocolate Fat Free/Sugar Free Pudding and mixed that up. I then swirled a bit of that on top of 5 cupcakes...enough that my dad, my husband and I all had 1 for the night, and 2 of us could have one the next day. I was thinking ahead. Those cupcakes would have cost me 10 points with the frosting...10 points! Now don't get me wrong, I had the points that day for it, plus my 49 weekly points, and the 21 points I had from working out. But, I decided that all that sweetness wasn't worth it, and it would only make me want more sugar. Besides my cool whip version was only 5 points. Such a better deal!
So we go to Mom's. The dinner was chicken breast and/or honey turkey, mashed potatoes, home made wheat bread, asparagus, broccoli and cauliflower, and mom's dieter's delight jello. Yum! I managed to keep my points under 20 for dinner with the potatoes and bread. That is a miracle for me. I even managed to only have 1 cupcake. It worked out pretty good. But all the game playing, baking, and family time tired me out. I was ready for bed by 9. Either that or by not working out my body was just being lazy for the day. I still had to get through Sunday to make it all work.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Exercising - Ugh
So, with the whole get fit and in shape I need to exercise. Now, I know I am not the fittest person on the block. I mean how can the 300 pound gal be fit right? But, I walked the zoo with my family with no issues. I walk with my husband in the neighborhood, I go shopping with no issues. I mean I can't be that out of shape.
Then Monday morning came. 7:30 bright and early I am in the lower level of my house in my "workout" clothes (read - pajamas) and my favorite tennis shoes. We are going to do the "Learn & Burn" portion of a workout video I borrowed from my cousin. She did the P90X and is in amazing shape, and when she borrowed it to me, she said it was fun and had great music. Okay, let's go. Yeah, I didn't even get out of the whole "learn" portion before my legs were killing me. Most of the exercises you are in the "tuck" position. I want you to stand up and try this. Put your knees should width or so apart, and then squat down a little. Now, while keeping your shoulders back, "tuck" your tailbone up under your stomach. Literally, it's likes having your shoulders against the wall while your butt is away from the way. Now, untuck and tuck, a few times. Stay in that position for about a minute....I'll wait.
Yeah, how bad do your thighs hurt? Within a few minutes into the "burn" portion of the exercise video I said screw it, and I was no longer in the tuck position. I did the rest of the movements, the punches, the kicks, the marching, leg lifts blah blah exercise, but screw that tuck position. My legs hurt after, and it left me thinking; I have great calf muscles (yes I know how that sounds, but seriously come look at my calf muscles and then remember I weight over 300 pounds). But, I have to have strong calf muscles in order for my legs to walk this fat body all over the zoo, and the shopping centers, and the neighborhoods. But my thighs. Oh no, those are flabby as can be. I think we can use them as a musical instrument.
Monday night was not too bad. My legs were a little sore, but nothing terrible. So there I was Tuesday morning, 7:30 ready to go again. Well, it was day 2 of the Learn & Burn. I've already done it once, it can't be any worse, right? Let's re-think that. By the end of day 2 I learned a lot of lessons. The first, I hate that damn tuck position. I mean, my thighs were killing me, and it hurt to go up and down the stairs of my house. Really? I mean come on, can I be that out of shape. My husband doesn't feel that bad, and he exercised about the same amount as me...never. He figured out that mystery for me.
If you are a female and have a male counterpart of some sort, go ask him to do the tuck position. And untuck and tuck a few times. What does his come up with? Well, mine told me, "It's a guy move." I looked at him and questioned it. He elaborated in the sense that when a guy stands to use the bathroom, that is kind of the position some of them take to make sure they hit the bowl and don't drip on themselves at the end. And, well, if you are with someone, being intimate (if you get the drift) while standing, well you are tucking and untucking a lot.
What else did I learn. Yes, no matter what anyone says, I do have abs under all this fat. Why? Because with all the ab tucking I did do in the first few minutes before I gave up on that dang tuck position my abs should have hurt. They didn't. I can let you feel the muscle in my upper abs under all my fat. But, my obliques are a whole other option. It freaking hurt to bend over to the side and pick up my pen from the floor. I mean come on, how can I have such great abs and no obliques at all? How else did I get my "girl" figure?
Third my knees are like an older adults. I mean at 31 I shouldn't have issues with them, and I never did before. But suddenly my knee hurt a bit when walking up and down the stairs, or getting up from that sitting position. I didn't think much of it. That changed on Wednesday when I went to do a kick while working out and I heard a snap followed by some pain in that knee. Walking wasn't easy, I walked up and down the stairs like my 3 year old nephew: holding onto the banister for dear life as I touched each stair with both feet. It finally started to feel better on Friday. Why? It was a rest day and I did no working out of my knee. Today, Saturday I have no pain at all. I am hoping Monday's work out will be great.
The last thing I learned. I am seriously out of shape. A 20 minute workout makes me completely breathless, my legs are protesting before the first 5 minutes are over with, I have sweat on my forehead, in my hair, down my neck and back, my chest, under my girls, around my fat belly, and I even think my butt was sweating at one point. But, each day I got back up and went for it all over again.
I have one more day off before I start again Monday morning. I honestly think that it is a good thing I got 3 days rest as my knees really needed it, but not even a week in and it felt odd not to get up this morning and work out. I am honestly thinking about taking a mile walk today. Part of me wonders how long it would take to walk to my mom's tonight for the family birthday part. I mean she is only 1 1/2 miles away. I do have my iPod to keep me company along the walk. But come Monday morning 7:30 I will be in the lower level of my house punching, kicking, marching, tucking away. Oh, and if you live in the Lansing area and feel the ground shake. Don't be worried, it's just my fat butt working out.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Then Monday morning came. 7:30 bright and early I am in the lower level of my house in my "workout" clothes (read - pajamas) and my favorite tennis shoes. We are going to do the "Learn & Burn" portion of a workout video I borrowed from my cousin. She did the P90X and is in amazing shape, and when she borrowed it to me, she said it was fun and had great music. Okay, let's go. Yeah, I didn't even get out of the whole "learn" portion before my legs were killing me. Most of the exercises you are in the "tuck" position. I want you to stand up and try this. Put your knees should width or so apart, and then squat down a little. Now, while keeping your shoulders back, "tuck" your tailbone up under your stomach. Literally, it's likes having your shoulders against the wall while your butt is away from the way. Now, untuck and tuck, a few times. Stay in that position for about a minute....I'll wait.
Yeah, how bad do your thighs hurt? Within a few minutes into the "burn" portion of the exercise video I said screw it, and I was no longer in the tuck position. I did the rest of the movements, the punches, the kicks, the marching, leg lifts blah blah exercise, but screw that tuck position. My legs hurt after, and it left me thinking; I have great calf muscles (yes I know how that sounds, but seriously come look at my calf muscles and then remember I weight over 300 pounds). But, I have to have strong calf muscles in order for my legs to walk this fat body all over the zoo, and the shopping centers, and the neighborhoods. But my thighs. Oh no, those are flabby as can be. I think we can use them as a musical instrument.
Monday night was not too bad. My legs were a little sore, but nothing terrible. So there I was Tuesday morning, 7:30 ready to go again. Well, it was day 2 of the Learn & Burn. I've already done it once, it can't be any worse, right? Let's re-think that. By the end of day 2 I learned a lot of lessons. The first, I hate that damn tuck position. I mean, my thighs were killing me, and it hurt to go up and down the stairs of my house. Really? I mean come on, can I be that out of shape. My husband doesn't feel that bad, and he exercised about the same amount as me...never. He figured out that mystery for me.
If you are a female and have a male counterpart of some sort, go ask him to do the tuck position. And untuck and tuck a few times. What does his come up with? Well, mine told me, "It's a guy move." I looked at him and questioned it. He elaborated in the sense that when a guy stands to use the bathroom, that is kind of the position some of them take to make sure they hit the bowl and don't drip on themselves at the end. And, well, if you are with someone, being intimate (if you get the drift) while standing, well you are tucking and untucking a lot.
What else did I learn. Yes, no matter what anyone says, I do have abs under all this fat. Why? Because with all the ab tucking I did do in the first few minutes before I gave up on that dang tuck position my abs should have hurt. They didn't. I can let you feel the muscle in my upper abs under all my fat. But, my obliques are a whole other option. It freaking hurt to bend over to the side and pick up my pen from the floor. I mean come on, how can I have such great abs and no obliques at all? How else did I get my "girl" figure?
Third my knees are like an older adults. I mean at 31 I shouldn't have issues with them, and I never did before. But suddenly my knee hurt a bit when walking up and down the stairs, or getting up from that sitting position. I didn't think much of it. That changed on Wednesday when I went to do a kick while working out and I heard a snap followed by some pain in that knee. Walking wasn't easy, I walked up and down the stairs like my 3 year old nephew: holding onto the banister for dear life as I touched each stair with both feet. It finally started to feel better on Friday. Why? It was a rest day and I did no working out of my knee. Today, Saturday I have no pain at all. I am hoping Monday's work out will be great.
The last thing I learned. I am seriously out of shape. A 20 minute workout makes me completely breathless, my legs are protesting before the first 5 minutes are over with, I have sweat on my forehead, in my hair, down my neck and back, my chest, under my girls, around my fat belly, and I even think my butt was sweating at one point. But, each day I got back up and went for it all over again.
I have one more day off before I start again Monday morning. I honestly think that it is a good thing I got 3 days rest as my knees really needed it, but not even a week in and it felt odd not to get up this morning and work out. I am honestly thinking about taking a mile walk today. Part of me wonders how long it would take to walk to my mom's tonight for the family birthday part. I mean she is only 1 1/2 miles away. I do have my iPod to keep me company along the walk. But come Monday morning 7:30 I will be in the lower level of my house punching, kicking, marching, tucking away. Oh, and if you live in the Lansing area and feel the ground shake. Don't be worried, it's just my fat butt working out.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Friday, February 3, 2012
First time...
Welcome to my first blog post. I decided to start this after almost 3 weeks of changing my diet, and trying to lose the weight. See, I'm a big girl; 326 pounds of big when I started to be exact. Yes, you read that right, 326 pounds. But, I've never fit the social "norms" or been able to do the things that "everyone" is doing, because my weight has affected me. So, after finding out I can't have kids unless I lose weight first I finally decided that this was it, I was getting on the fit train.
Now, why the fit train? Not the skinny, or losing weight train? Well, in order to get fit, I need to change my diet and exercise more. I need to get fit and in shape. By getting fit and in shape I will lose weight. Therefore, I am reaching all my goals. Will I make it? I believe I can. And if I can believe it, well I was always told I can do anything I put my mind to.
Is this easy. HELL NO! I love food. I am a food addict. Give me a choice of food or having fun, I ask why I can't do both. I mean really? My life is about food. I love to cook and I love to bake. And tasting is a part of that. Before I started to do this my breakfast was...um nothing I never ate breakfast. Lunch was a sandwich and 1/4 - 1/2 of a large bag of chips. Or home made mac and cheese, or some ravioli in butter. Oh, and then I would snack if I got hungry. Dinner was chicken breast (sometimes pan fried, or just cooked) with about 2 servings of mashed potatoes with butter and cheese. No veggies. Or I would make a pasta dish. Then if I could I would have 3 large scoops of ice cream or sherbet for dessert. Yes, I ate a lot. And I would make my own alfredo sauce when I wanted it. I would be asked to bring my homemade mac and cheese to parties. These are not low fat or calorie items. And when I didn't eat a lot I wouldn't eat the right choices. I hate veggies. There were not a lot of times I would cook or eat veggies. I think mashed potatoes, french fries, and corn were the only ones. And no, the first two do not count at all.
Now, I am doing pretty good. Yes, I know it's only 3 weeks in, but I am working hard. I decided to go to Weight Watchers for the points. Why? Because it keeps me accountable in the food department. I am suppose to have 8 oz of water (or liquid) a day, 2-3 servings of dairy, 2 servings of a healthy oil, and 5-7 servings of fruits and veggies. Has it worked. Yes, I lost 14.8 pounds my two weeks. No, that is not typical and I got scolded for losing more than the recommended healthy amount. Oh, and that was without exercising. (I started that this week, but that hilarious information is coming in my next post)
Will this get easier? Probably. Just look at my meals from today:
Breakfast: 1 poached egg, 1 turkey sausage patty, 1 mini pretzel bagel
Snack: An apple and some peanut butter
Lunch: 1 whole wheat wrap, leftover turkey taco meat, lettuce, cheese, and yogurt (on the side, I am the pickest eater I know so no way is that yogurt going on top).
Snack: Sugar free jello
Dinner: 1/2 a pork chop pounded down a bit and coated in bread crumbs and baked (why? I miss the fried food but I can do this for less points), some sort of veggie (haven't decided dinner is still cooking), and brown rice. And not that instant stuff. I bought the long cooking, going to be on the stove for like 35 minutes stuff. Hopefully this will be better. Oh, and it's cooked in a no point chicken broth.
Snack: If I am hungry I'll grab an ice cream bar. Weight Watchers Ice Cream bar that is.
Did this get me all my healthy items? Well, let's see no fruit or veggie with my breakfast. Fruit in my snack, lettuce at lunch, and veggies for dinner. Might want to make that 2 servings at dinner. Nope. But now that I see that, I will definitely think about it more tomorrow.
Well, now I know this was long, but it was my first entry. The exercise one will be up by tomorrow at the latest, and I promise you will either laugh at my angst, or be disgusted by how out of shape I decided I really was.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat,
S
Now, why the fit train? Not the skinny, or losing weight train? Well, in order to get fit, I need to change my diet and exercise more. I need to get fit and in shape. By getting fit and in shape I will lose weight. Therefore, I am reaching all my goals. Will I make it? I believe I can. And if I can believe it, well I was always told I can do anything I put my mind to.
Is this easy. HELL NO! I love food. I am a food addict. Give me a choice of food or having fun, I ask why I can't do both. I mean really? My life is about food. I love to cook and I love to bake. And tasting is a part of that. Before I started to do this my breakfast was...um nothing I never ate breakfast. Lunch was a sandwich and 1/4 - 1/2 of a large bag of chips. Or home made mac and cheese, or some ravioli in butter. Oh, and then I would snack if I got hungry. Dinner was chicken breast (sometimes pan fried, or just cooked) with about 2 servings of mashed potatoes with butter and cheese. No veggies. Or I would make a pasta dish. Then if I could I would have 3 large scoops of ice cream or sherbet for dessert. Yes, I ate a lot. And I would make my own alfredo sauce when I wanted it. I would be asked to bring my homemade mac and cheese to parties. These are not low fat or calorie items. And when I didn't eat a lot I wouldn't eat the right choices. I hate veggies. There were not a lot of times I would cook or eat veggies. I think mashed potatoes, french fries, and corn were the only ones. And no, the first two do not count at all.
Now, I am doing pretty good. Yes, I know it's only 3 weeks in, but I am working hard. I decided to go to Weight Watchers for the points. Why? Because it keeps me accountable in the food department. I am suppose to have 8 oz of water (or liquid) a day, 2-3 servings of dairy, 2 servings of a healthy oil, and 5-7 servings of fruits and veggies. Has it worked. Yes, I lost 14.8 pounds my two weeks. No, that is not typical and I got scolded for losing more than the recommended healthy amount. Oh, and that was without exercising. (I started that this week, but that hilarious information is coming in my next post)
Will this get easier? Probably. Just look at my meals from today:
Breakfast: 1 poached egg, 1 turkey sausage patty, 1 mini pretzel bagel
Snack: An apple and some peanut butter
Lunch: 1 whole wheat wrap, leftover turkey taco meat, lettuce, cheese, and yogurt (on the side, I am the pickest eater I know so no way is that yogurt going on top).
Snack: Sugar free jello
Dinner: 1/2 a pork chop pounded down a bit and coated in bread crumbs and baked (why? I miss the fried food but I can do this for less points), some sort of veggie (haven't decided dinner is still cooking), and brown rice. And not that instant stuff. I bought the long cooking, going to be on the stove for like 35 minutes stuff. Hopefully this will be better. Oh, and it's cooked in a no point chicken broth.
Snack: If I am hungry I'll grab an ice cream bar. Weight Watchers Ice Cream bar that is.
Did this get me all my healthy items? Well, let's see no fruit or veggie with my breakfast. Fruit in my snack, lettuce at lunch, and veggies for dinner. Might want to make that 2 servings at dinner. Nope. But now that I see that, I will definitely think about it more tomorrow.
Well, now I know this was long, but it was my first entry. The exercise one will be up by tomorrow at the latest, and I promise you will either laugh at my angst, or be disgusted by how out of shape I decided I really was.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat,
S
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