So, with the whole get fit and in shape I need to exercise. Now, I know I am not the fittest person on the block. I mean how can the 300 pound gal be fit right? But, I walked the zoo with my family with no issues. I walk with my husband in the neighborhood, I go shopping with no issues. I mean I can't be that out of shape.
Then Monday morning came. 7:30 bright and early I am in the lower level of my house in my "workout" clothes (read - pajamas) and my favorite tennis shoes. We are going to do the "Learn & Burn" portion of a workout video I borrowed from my cousin. She did the P90X and is in amazing shape, and when she borrowed it to me, she said it was fun and had great music. Okay, let's go. Yeah, I didn't even get out of the whole "learn" portion before my legs were killing me. Most of the exercises you are in the "tuck" position. I want you to stand up and try this. Put your knees should width or so apart, and then squat down a little. Now, while keeping your shoulders back, "tuck" your tailbone up under your stomach. Literally, it's likes having your shoulders against the wall while your butt is away from the way. Now, untuck and tuck, a few times. Stay in that position for about a minute....I'll wait.
Yeah, how bad do your thighs hurt? Within a few minutes into the "burn" portion of the exercise video I said screw it, and I was no longer in the tuck position. I did the rest of the movements, the punches, the kicks, the marching, leg lifts blah blah exercise, but screw that tuck position. My legs hurt after, and it left me thinking; I have great calf muscles (yes I know how that sounds, but seriously come look at my calf muscles and then remember I weight over 300 pounds). But, I have to have strong calf muscles in order for my legs to walk this fat body all over the zoo, and the shopping centers, and the neighborhoods. But my thighs. Oh no, those are flabby as can be. I think we can use them as a musical instrument.
Monday night was not too bad. My legs were a little sore, but nothing terrible. So there I was Tuesday morning, 7:30 ready to go again. Well, it was day 2 of the Learn & Burn. I've already done it once, it can't be any worse, right? Let's re-think that. By the end of day 2 I learned a lot of lessons. The first, I hate that damn tuck position. I mean, my thighs were killing me, and it hurt to go up and down the stairs of my house. Really? I mean come on, can I be that out of shape. My husband doesn't feel that bad, and he exercised about the same amount as me...never. He figured out that mystery for me.
If you are a female and have a male counterpart of some sort, go ask him to do the tuck position. And untuck and tuck a few times. What does his come up with? Well, mine told me, "It's a guy move." I looked at him and questioned it. He elaborated in the sense that when a guy stands to use the bathroom, that is kind of the position some of them take to make sure they hit the bowl and don't drip on themselves at the end. And, well, if you are with someone, being intimate (if you get the drift) while standing, well you are tucking and untucking a lot.
What else did I learn. Yes, no matter what anyone says, I do have abs under all this fat. Why? Because with all the ab tucking I did do in the first few minutes before I gave up on that dang tuck position my abs should have hurt. They didn't. I can let you feel the muscle in my upper abs under all my fat. But, my obliques are a whole other option. It freaking hurt to bend over to the side and pick up my pen from the floor. I mean come on, how can I have such great abs and no obliques at all? How else did I get my "girl" figure?
Third my knees are like an older adults. I mean at 31 I shouldn't have issues with them, and I never did before. But suddenly my knee hurt a bit when walking up and down the stairs, or getting up from that sitting position. I didn't think much of it. That changed on Wednesday when I went to do a kick while working out and I heard a snap followed by some pain in that knee. Walking wasn't easy, I walked up and down the stairs like my 3 year old nephew: holding onto the banister for dear life as I touched each stair with both feet. It finally started to feel better on Friday. Why? It was a rest day and I did no working out of my knee. Today, Saturday I have no pain at all. I am hoping Monday's work out will be great.
The last thing I learned. I am seriously out of shape. A 20 minute workout makes me completely breathless, my legs are protesting before the first 5 minutes are over with, I have sweat on my forehead, in my hair, down my neck and back, my chest, under my girls, around my fat belly, and I even think my butt was sweating at one point. But, each day I got back up and went for it all over again.
I have one more day off before I start again Monday morning. I honestly think that it is a good thing I got 3 days rest as my knees really needed it, but not even a week in and it felt odd not to get up this morning and work out. I am honestly thinking about taking a mile walk today. Part of me wonders how long it would take to walk to my mom's tonight for the family birthday part. I mean she is only 1 1/2 miles away. I do have my iPod to keep me company along the walk. But come Monday morning 7:30 I will be in the lower level of my house punching, kicking, marching, tucking away. Oh, and if you live in the Lansing area and feel the ground shake. Don't be worried, it's just my fat butt working out.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
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