As I sit here before dinner on Valentine's Day, it's amazing to me how much difference a year can make. Or in my case a few weeks. I was going to make homemade tequila lime chicken fajita's for dinner with a side of brown rice with salsa for Matt. Me, I was just going to have some brown rice and veggies on the side. The best part was that it was only 14 points. That is a was because unfortunately my chicken breast didn't thaw enough for me to marinate or cook.
Instead of getting all pissy and upset...wait who am I kidding, I was pissy and upset. Let's rephrase. Instead of taking my disappointment out by having Matt get me greasy food, or a huge pasta dish with lots of creamy sauce my first thought was, "Let's have some Subway." My thinking on that is just because I know I can have a 6 inch or footlong sub for all of 7-15 points, and not ruin my day with a big bowl of pasta.
This is a huge change for me. I still am a boredom and emotional eater. I am a food addict. That isn't something that just goes away. And unlike someone who is addicted to alcohol or drugs, I can't "kick the habit" and swear it off again. Really, I can't live without food. I have to change my thinking. I am not saying it's easy. It is one of the most difficult things I've ever done. But, I have seen progress already.
As a food addict, eating food wasn't something I necessarily thought of, but just did. For example, if I was at my friend's for a party, or my family's for a party I would find myself eating all damn day. The worst part was, I didn't realize how much I had eaten at all until I finished. Now when faced with food sitting out I find myself keeping out of the room. This is a HUGE hazard for me in my business, and with some things I do all the time. I mean just at dartball tonight there will be sweets and/or snacks. Last week was Ritz Crackers, sliced cheese and pretzels. I knew that I had to stay as far away from that kitchen, or table, or whatever it was to keep away.
I find that my resolve is pretty good still on my 5th week of watching what food I eat. The only other time I stuck to my guns this long or longer was when I was in a competition at work for losing the most weight (which don't ever get me started on). The reasoning? Maybe it's because I have a good goal in mind, and it's the first motivator to ever really work for me. Or, maybe it's because I am seeing result. I mean 23.8 pounds in 4 weeks is amazing. I've averaged 5.95 pounds a week. (Side note, healthy weight lose is 2 pounds per week or 1% of your weight whichever is higher. I am not endorsing any one to lose this much weight this quick. It's easier to put back on, and can be done in a way that makes you lose muscle). I'm enjoying my workouts. I find on days that I don't put in a work out that I am tired, and sluggish. Heck the last two Saturday's I didn't work out I ended up exhausted by 8 and wanting to be in bed by 9.
I guess I can sum it all up by saying, it's working. My thoughts aren't the same as they were before I started this. And, I don't feel deprived at all. I have ice cream here and there. I love my air popped popcorn, and sugar free jello. I can eat out without depriving myself. And yes, when I have a craving for french fries I can get a small, and not worry about it derailing me. I never thought I would say these types of things, but here I am typing it out for the world to see.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
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