Five year. It has been five long years since I made my last post on this blog. It's amazing to me with the stress of finding a job, the stress of fitting into a new place, and everything else going on with my life that I let this blog go to the wayside. I'm not back with a positive, brilliant stroke of genius to write about, but I promise to try and not make this depressing either. No, I come back thanks to reconnecting with a dear friend. He made me realize that while I may have been getting back on a journey, I wasn't being true to myself by not sharing. So here I go, a little catch up, and a new journey to begin.
I loved Louisiana. After growing up and living my life in Chicagoland I never thought I would find a place that I could call home other than the region I grew up. New Orleans and Louisiana in general will always hold a piece of my heart. The food down there, oh the food. I learned to enjoy some seafood which was not something I did before. I ended up becoming close with my in-laws, and made friends. I experience Mardi Gras, a hurricane, and what happens when it sleets in a region that doesn't get freezing temperatures often.
But, through it all I was struggling. I was struggling with my marriage. I didn't realize that moving to the South would be a catalyst in the end of my marriage. Okay, it probably wasn't a catalyst, but it definitely opened doors that were not open up in Chicago at the time. We struggled for a long time, I just didn't realize it then as much as hindsight made it apparent. The struggle took it's toll on me. I didn't feel like cooking, I didn't feel like trying to be good, and I didn't feel like exercising. I ballooned back up to close to the weight I was when I first started the Weight Watchers journey all those years ago.
My parents were wonderful and came to pick me up and give me one last hooray in the city I grew to call home (sidebar, I left a piece of my heart with that city). We walked the French Quarter, had beneigets (which you would think I would have learned how to spell when I was down there), took a tour, ate seafood, and of course hit the tourist shops. I look back at those pictures of me on the steps across from Jackson square, or trying on a hat in a store and I can't believe I let myself get back to that weight.
But, I returned back to Chicagoland to my parents, my sisters, my best friend, and my extended family. I came back to the place where I could cocoon myself in love and support. The place where I could heal the broken parts of me, even the ones I didn't know existed at the time. Not that my in-laws were not great to me down in Louisiana, but nothing beats that hug from my dad, the talks with my mom, and the drinks with my bestie on some of my worst days. It hasn't always been easy. In fact in the last week I've had two breakdowns, and parts that I thought were healed were just scabbed over. It's been almost three years, but to heal from the split of a fourteen year relationship that ended what seemed suddenly for me I will take the three years if it means I am healed.
So, here I am after all of that back on the journey. The goals are not the same, and the path I am taking has changed, but the overall journey is the same. I've been long winded tonight, so I'll make another post with the all the new items in the journey. I can't wait to post what's new. I may even have to pull out pictures! Until next time my friends.
Peace, Love, and still fat,
S
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