Yes, it was another great week for me. Last week I lost over 2 pounds and hit my 10% weight loss goal. For those that don't know what that means, I lost 10% of my starting weight, or 32.6 pounds. That made me feel great! I haven't been able to exercise as much as I would like, but I pay attention to those points I eat daily, and make sure I am eating enough. I was thinking, and I didn't do anything different this week. I watched what I ate, made healthy choices in my food, and tried to move around the house a bit since I can't work out.
This week I knew I was doing good. I had lost the 10%, and I was sticking with the plan. I made an observation on Friday. Matt was off so we went to Home Depot to get some packing supplies. While we were in there it started pouring down rain. It was raining when we went to leave, so I made Matt a bargain. He wouldn't have to pick me up, but if he could unlock the door to the truck before putting the items we bought in the back away I would run out to the truck and get wet as well. He did, and I ran. Wow, I didn't lose my breath, and I felt great. We then went to Best Buy to make an inquiry about an stereo installation. Matt dropped me off at the door again, and it was raining when we went to leave. I told him I'd meet him at the truck. I waited at the door, and then took off on the sidewalk, through the "street" and down the 8 or so spaces down to where Matt was parked. I guess my jeans are a little bigger than I thought because by the time I got to the truck, my jeans were under my butt and falling off. Oops! Even though I felt great for the run, there was that I hope no one saw my underwear moment.
So I go to weigh in today and I look at my tracker. Before weigh in I have 6 weigh ins left. I started to think. I really would love to wait to move until after my last weigh in on this tracker. It would give me a great 16 week start, and besides what if that new WW weigh in place I go to when I move has a scale that weighs me differently. If their scale says that I weigh more than the one up here, how would that make me feel on my last weigh in?
So now I ask, is it selfish of me to want to wait that extra week to move so I can have one last good weigh in here? Well, I guess it depends on how close to my goal I am right? I would love to hear your opinions.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Monday, March 26, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
I feel good...but my wallet might not lol
So, after the disaster of feelings I had with my last blog, I really needed a pick me up this weekend. I knew I would be busy, but there needed to be something that would just push me over the edge and put a really big smile on my face, and remind me of why I am doing this get fit, lose weight thing.
Friday night after dinner (breakfast for dinner too, yummy) and shopping for a costume for next weekend we decided to go hit up my parents house and hang with my dad. My mom was having girls night, so we sat outside around the fire. I relaxed had some good conversations, and enjoyed the evening. But that wasn't it.
Saturday Matt and I washed and detailed both cars (and yes mine still looks almost new when it's all cleaned up). We then ran to the store to try and get a discount on our cell phone bill (successful), got dinner, and went and picked up a new scale. Yeah, ours pretty much died we believed. After stepping on the new scale, it was worth the purchase. After that we went to my parents for another fire and to hang out with my nephew. It was good, but not the smile I was looking for.
Just as we were getting ready to go to bed my husband commented on how he had no clue what he was going to wear to church Sunday. I didn't have any clue what I was wearing so I went to the closet and started to look. My eyes fell on this blue, sleeveless, cowl-necked dress that I bought just about a year ago, and decided that even though it was a dress I was very uncomfortable in it, and would need to wear something underneath of it to walk out of the house. I looked at my stomach and figured that it still looks smaller, I might as well try it on. The dress fit better than before. While I would be more comfortable walking out of the house with it on, I decided I needed a few more pounds gone so I don't feel like my stomach is the main attraction of the dress.
Now that got a smile on my face, and got me thinking about the few other dresses I had in my closet. I pulled out the dress I wore to a wedding in October, just about 5 1/2 months ago. It still looks great, but there is a little more room in places there wasn't room before, and I could almost zip it up alone. The other dress I've had for a few years, and seem to wear it two or three times a year. It always fit, and was nice looking. Now, it really shows that I have some curves with my fat.
Yes, that is what I needed to make me smile. I feel good. And, I know that when I have to get all dressy in July for Rally I will either be buying new smaller clothes, or I will be having someone take in that dress from the wedding as it is adorable.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Friday night after dinner (breakfast for dinner too, yummy) and shopping for a costume for next weekend we decided to go hit up my parents house and hang with my dad. My mom was having girls night, so we sat outside around the fire. I relaxed had some good conversations, and enjoyed the evening. But that wasn't it.
Saturday Matt and I washed and detailed both cars (and yes mine still looks almost new when it's all cleaned up). We then ran to the store to try and get a discount on our cell phone bill (successful), got dinner, and went and picked up a new scale. Yeah, ours pretty much died we believed. After stepping on the new scale, it was worth the purchase. After that we went to my parents for another fire and to hang out with my nephew. It was good, but not the smile I was looking for.
Just as we were getting ready to go to bed my husband commented on how he had no clue what he was going to wear to church Sunday. I didn't have any clue what I was wearing so I went to the closet and started to look. My eyes fell on this blue, sleeveless, cowl-necked dress that I bought just about a year ago, and decided that even though it was a dress I was very uncomfortable in it, and would need to wear something underneath of it to walk out of the house. I looked at my stomach and figured that it still looks smaller, I might as well try it on. The dress fit better than before. While I would be more comfortable walking out of the house with it on, I decided I needed a few more pounds gone so I don't feel like my stomach is the main attraction of the dress.
Now that got a smile on my face, and got me thinking about the few other dresses I had in my closet. I pulled out the dress I wore to a wedding in October, just about 5 1/2 months ago. It still looks great, but there is a little more room in places there wasn't room before, and I could almost zip it up alone. The other dress I've had for a few years, and seem to wear it two or three times a year. It always fit, and was nice looking. Now, it really shows that I have some curves with my fat.
Yes, that is what I needed to make me smile. I feel good. And, I know that when I have to get all dressy in July for Rally I will either be buying new smaller clothes, or I will be having someone take in that dress from the wedding as it is adorable.
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
Thursday, March 15, 2012
Positive! Positive! Not so Positive.
Yes, I know my last post was about staying positive and keeping up the momentum for yourself, and I am not backing down. However I made an observation last night that was just a bit of a let down for me, within the big positive I am showing.
It all started with my nightly routine of washing my face, my piercing, brushing my teeth and using the mouthwash. I usually do this with not much clothing (sorry for the not so nice mental picture there) so I don't get water all over my top while cleaning my piercing. I stood up and actually looked in the mirror. Or maybe I should say I actually looked and "saw" myself properly. I was happy. My face looks thinner (no matter how round it still is), and I can see a change in my figure. My stomach is smaller, I look smaller around and my curves are a bit more prominent.
That all sounds good, but then I looked at my boobs. While the difference in the size between the two is less (thankfully) I suddenly realized they may be a bit perkier, but they are definitely smaller. Obviously I am losing weight in my boobs along with the rest of my body. However, as some that considers herself, "flat chested for a fat girl." the thought of me losing my pretty little C cups are discouraging. I know, it shouldn't matter, but for some reason it kinda bothered me.
But if that was bothersome, imagine my thought when I pointed out to my husband that the difference in sizes are not as vast as it use to be, his first words were, "Yeah they are smaller, and so is your butt." Excuse me, but I am now losing the junk in my trunk as well? Okay knee, you better heal and heal quick because I need to start walking up a bunch of stairs, doing lunges, and anything else that is going to put my butt muscles to work and make it stay a decent size.
So yes, I am down 30 pounds and happy. I am about to hit my 10% weight loss mark (losing 10% of my starting weight). But, the knowledge of losing things that I have identified as part of who I am, not such a happy moment for me.
Which reminds me, if anyone has any ideas of exercises to increase my butt size and/or how not to lose my boobs, please let me know.
Love, Peace and Still Fat
S
It all started with my nightly routine of washing my face, my piercing, brushing my teeth and using the mouthwash. I usually do this with not much clothing (sorry for the not so nice mental picture there) so I don't get water all over my top while cleaning my piercing. I stood up and actually looked in the mirror. Or maybe I should say I actually looked and "saw" myself properly. I was happy. My face looks thinner (no matter how round it still is), and I can see a change in my figure. My stomach is smaller, I look smaller around and my curves are a bit more prominent.
That all sounds good, but then I looked at my boobs. While the difference in the size between the two is less (thankfully) I suddenly realized they may be a bit perkier, but they are definitely smaller. Obviously I am losing weight in my boobs along with the rest of my body. However, as some that considers herself, "flat chested for a fat girl." the thought of me losing my pretty little C cups are discouraging. I know, it shouldn't matter, but for some reason it kinda bothered me.
But if that was bothersome, imagine my thought when I pointed out to my husband that the difference in sizes are not as vast as it use to be, his first words were, "Yeah they are smaller, and so is your butt." Excuse me, but I am now losing the junk in my trunk as well? Okay knee, you better heal and heal quick because I need to start walking up a bunch of stairs, doing lunges, and anything else that is going to put my butt muscles to work and make it stay a decent size.
So yes, I am down 30 pounds and happy. I am about to hit my 10% weight loss mark (losing 10% of my starting weight). But, the knowledge of losing things that I have identified as part of who I am, not such a happy moment for me.
Which reminds me, if anyone has any ideas of exercises to increase my butt size and/or how not to lose my boobs, please let me know.
Love, Peace and Still Fat
S
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
I'm back
Okay, I know I've been MIA for a while. There is no good excuse for it either, except I really didn't know what to write. Or better yet, I couldn't get my thoughts from my head and on the computer in a way that made sense for a blog post. So, I have been sitting around writing and re-writing in my head what I want to say and how to express it. More or less, this is it, and I hope that it comes out on here the way it sounds in my head.
It just so happened that Monday's meeting was on negative thoughts, and negative influences, and that is what I have been struggling to talk about. See a few weeks ago one of my friends post a picture on line of a billboard ad being shown (I believe) in the state of Georgia attacking obesity in children. There was (and still is I am guessing) a huge uproar about the ads, and what it actually does to children. If you want to see the ads, google it. But my friend was outraged by the ads, and had opinions of it, along with many other friends.
I of course had my opinion as well. Let me state -for those that didn't know me then- that I have always been on the bigger side of life. In sixth grade I think I was between 155 - 175 pounds (I am actually struggling to remember the weight but I remember people being shocked because I was "thicker" than them, but they didn't think I was that "fat"). I was in a size 16 by my senior year of high school. As I got older the easier it was for me to put on the weight.
The problem I saw was that so many people were blaming the parents, and just the parents. Now, I am not saying parents are not part of the problem. Children with one or more parents (and I think step-parents count) that are obese have a higher chance to be obese. Why? Because where are they learning their habits of eating the wrong food, the large food portions, or lack of work out from. However, parents are not the only problem. I look at my parents, and while I was a big kid, I played out side, I rode my bike all the time, I was on a softball team in the summer, while my parents were trying to force vegetables down my throat. And I wasn't your typical kid, I don't eat veggies. I was the kid that if you forced a veggie down my throat, I'll throw that veggie up all over your dining room table. (And yes, I was forced to clean it up, but I hated them dang veggies).
But, the kids teasing me that I was a big kid (when I wasn't too big, and by today's standards I wasn't fat at all. I am going to search for a picture to prove it as well) and the snide comments about how clothes did or didn't fit me wasn't a help either. If you put a picture of a fat kid up and tell them how fat they are that is not going to help them. All that does is start the cycle of emotional eating. It's a bad loop that we have to stop now with the youth.
But here's the thing. No matter how big or small you are there is always going to be negatives in your life. I know that even though I lost 30 pounds there will be people that look at me because I am the fat girl. I will have people make fun of me because of my size and weight (just make sure it's behind my back, I am a bit feisty if need be). I will have people not realizing what I am doing to lose weight that will ask me, "Should you really be eating that?"
The difference now is that I have decided to try and let those negatives roll off of me. The people making fun of me or looking at me weirdly do not know me, or the shoes I walk in. They do not know how hard I have worked to lose this weight, or the trials I have gone through to finally make me successful in this attempt. Those that question my food choices may not understand the WW program, and how I can indulge in my favorite foods once in awhile (I had an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen over the weekend and still lost 3.4 pounds). The difference is me, and my mindset.
It use to be that if someone questioned my food choice that my response (mentally) was, "No I probably shouldn't be having this small bite or portion, but now I am going to gorge on it since you don't think I have the will power to stop." Well that was the mild version.
You are your own worst enemy, not only in weight loss, but in everything you do. Think of all the things you talk yourself out of all the time. The times you talk yourself out of a workout, or that you can not accomplish something. Now imagine if you just went with, "I can talk a 15 minute walk." Would that walk turn into a 30 minute walk? Maybe. Would it hurt to do the 15 minutes? Of course not. If we can talk ourselves out of exercise or into too much indulging, we can talk ourselves into the exercise and out of indulging. That is my difference.
I have not always been a positive person, and I had resigned myself into being the fat girl the rest of my life. But not no more. I will be an active person, and I will lose this weight. I will have my kid, and then take off that weight. And then, I am going to party it up in Vegas with a cute short skirt, and a body hugging top. Why? Because I think I can I will do it. And that is the difference. I never thought I would be the girl at a club in Vegas because they don't make enough cute club apparel for fat girls that I like. Now, I know they do for the skinny girls and I will be one. What are you going to do in 3 years? Are you going to be there with me or not?
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
It just so happened that Monday's meeting was on negative thoughts, and negative influences, and that is what I have been struggling to talk about. See a few weeks ago one of my friends post a picture on line of a billboard ad being shown (I believe) in the state of Georgia attacking obesity in children. There was (and still is I am guessing) a huge uproar about the ads, and what it actually does to children. If you want to see the ads, google it. But my friend was outraged by the ads, and had opinions of it, along with many other friends.
I of course had my opinion as well. Let me state -for those that didn't know me then- that I have always been on the bigger side of life. In sixth grade I think I was between 155 - 175 pounds (I am actually struggling to remember the weight but I remember people being shocked because I was "thicker" than them, but they didn't think I was that "fat"). I was in a size 16 by my senior year of high school. As I got older the easier it was for me to put on the weight.
The problem I saw was that so many people were blaming the parents, and just the parents. Now, I am not saying parents are not part of the problem. Children with one or more parents (and I think step-parents count) that are obese have a higher chance to be obese. Why? Because where are they learning their habits of eating the wrong food, the large food portions, or lack of work out from. However, parents are not the only problem. I look at my parents, and while I was a big kid, I played out side, I rode my bike all the time, I was on a softball team in the summer, while my parents were trying to force vegetables down my throat. And I wasn't your typical kid, I don't eat veggies. I was the kid that if you forced a veggie down my throat, I'll throw that veggie up all over your dining room table. (And yes, I was forced to clean it up, but I hated them dang veggies).
But, the kids teasing me that I was a big kid (when I wasn't too big, and by today's standards I wasn't fat at all. I am going to search for a picture to prove it as well) and the snide comments about how clothes did or didn't fit me wasn't a help either. If you put a picture of a fat kid up and tell them how fat they are that is not going to help them. All that does is start the cycle of emotional eating. It's a bad loop that we have to stop now with the youth.
But here's the thing. No matter how big or small you are there is always going to be negatives in your life. I know that even though I lost 30 pounds there will be people that look at me because I am the fat girl. I will have people make fun of me because of my size and weight (just make sure it's behind my back, I am a bit feisty if need be). I will have people not realizing what I am doing to lose weight that will ask me, "Should you really be eating that?"
The difference now is that I have decided to try and let those negatives roll off of me. The people making fun of me or looking at me weirdly do not know me, or the shoes I walk in. They do not know how hard I have worked to lose this weight, or the trials I have gone through to finally make me successful in this attempt. Those that question my food choices may not understand the WW program, and how I can indulge in my favorite foods once in awhile (I had an ice cream cone from Dairy Queen over the weekend and still lost 3.4 pounds). The difference is me, and my mindset.
It use to be that if someone questioned my food choice that my response (mentally) was, "No I probably shouldn't be having this small bite or portion, but now I am going to gorge on it since you don't think I have the will power to stop." Well that was the mild version.
You are your own worst enemy, not only in weight loss, but in everything you do. Think of all the things you talk yourself out of all the time. The times you talk yourself out of a workout, or that you can not accomplish something. Now imagine if you just went with, "I can talk a 15 minute walk." Would that walk turn into a 30 minute walk? Maybe. Would it hurt to do the 15 minutes? Of course not. If we can talk ourselves out of exercise or into too much indulging, we can talk ourselves into the exercise and out of indulging. That is my difference.
I have not always been a positive person, and I had resigned myself into being the fat girl the rest of my life. But not no more. I will be an active person, and I will lose this weight. I will have my kid, and then take off that weight. And then, I am going to party it up in Vegas with a cute short skirt, and a body hugging top. Why? Because I think I can I will do it. And that is the difference. I never thought I would be the girl at a club in Vegas because they don't make enough cute club apparel for fat girls that I like. Now, I know they do for the skinny girls and I will be one. What are you going to do in 3 years? Are you going to be there with me or not?
Love, Peace, and Still Fat
S
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